Brokenness

In life we encounter people that cannot begin to love/respect you as a friend, mate, and sibling or even as a coworker, because of the brokenness of their own spirit and self-esteem. And we as humans think that it is our duty, especially if we say we love/care for someone, to attempt to fix them even at the risk of our own well-being. Love can be a tricky thing, because it can have you ignore logic and pay attention solely to emotions which can be hazardous to one’s health. When someone for whatever reason is so broken that they cannot love and respect themselves by making healthy and emotionally sound decisions, it will be impossible for them to be involved in a healthy, loving, respectful relationship.

People cannot give to others what they cannot give to themselves.

You cannot love people whole. What you can do is love them enough to encourage them to love and tend to themselves. You can be supportive without being an enabler and motivate them to care enough for themselves to want better, to want to be whole.

Thinking solely with our heart we will fool ourselves into believing that if we accept the brokenness, if we just stand beside them long enough, we can will them into changing. Let me tell you that if a glass falls and breaks, if you are in the vicinity you will get cut as it shatters. Those cuts may not be physical, they may come in the form of mental and emotional exhaustion. Broken people cannot make deposits into you, they only make withdrawals, and it is but one symptom of their brokenness.

That is why you have to put limits on your involvement, pray for them, but let them know you are not OK being in an unevenly yoked relationship and yes, the relationship can be a friendship, work relationship etc.  People need to understand that their brokenness affects others and it’s not OK to stay broken and expect the people around you to make concessions forever.

Tough love can be a wonderful thing and acting as a mirror to a person that cannot see themselves is even more wonderful.

Peace cannot live in the place where chaos dwells. So free yourself from the broken relationship. Pray for them and encourage them to fix themselves.

Most of all be sure to protect and love yourself enough to love them from a safe distance.~micaiah

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