“What love looks and feels like changes with the evolution of your mental state. With maturity and growth, there will come a time that you look back at your past failed relationships and become thankful that the Almighty interceded before they could make it into your future.” ~ Micaiahism
We’ve all heard or even experienced the fact that at time love hurts. Well, it’s not entirely accurate, love didn’t do a thing, it was the person we attached the feelings of love to that caused the pain. Whether it was a pain derived from family, friend or from an intimate partner it changes you. Some people carry the pain or trauma with them for a life time, it becomes baggage from unhealed wounds, a relationship hazard.
We must learn to look at endings and not only see or feel the hurt and devastation, but also see the blessing in the lesson. People cannot love others if they are not first taught the importance of loving themselves. Parents are people first and foremost, with that said, if a person is not taught how to be caring and selfless it is not inherent to all. Self-love is critical for building the foundation upon which any relationship will stand. Without it, people are left to the whims of being driven by the emotions, reactions and thoughts of others. When we do not first love ourselves, we erroneously believe that our happiness is ultimately tied to others.
When you are blessed to evolve in your thinking and become enlightened to the fact that happiness is a choice and an inside job, it gives you the power back that once was placed in the hands of others. Happiness is relative to the person that chooses to embrace it. That does not mean the person won’t experience sad times, but it does mean they understand that there is balance in everything and that a sad time does not have to equate to overwhelming or depressed emotions. The same is true of self-love, once you understand that you must look past and forgive yourself for your flaws and or imperfections, past mistakes and negative self-talk, then you are able to love yourself unconditionally.
We must learn to leave baggage where it is, if its weight hinders us from moving forward. Stop assuming you need to unpack it, sometimes you just need to throw it all away; it’s just a reminder of what didn’t fit or what didn’t work. You don’t need the reminder if it only works to keep you stagnant and wallowing in the feeling of defeat or inadequacy. Throwing away that baggage may entail you getting therapy to talk through the hurt, journaling, meditation, spiritual cleansing, prayer, fasting or a multitude of other methods, whatever it takes, do it. You will always be worth your best efforts.
Love looks different as you mature and evolve, sometimes love looks like peace of mind and time spent communing with yourself. You must determine what love looks and feels like and once you do, don’t settle for anything less.