Fighting to Matter

To be black and live in America is to live through trauma.

Black lives do not matter. Animals and walls get more respect and consideration than black people do.

People are murdered in their homes and yet they are made to be villains.
Even in their deaths the world tries hard to turn the tables so even sympathy is not given.

Oppression makes a wise man mad. And continually perpetuating trauma makes a person numb.

But
life goes on and we keep pushing because our souls weren’t created to quit.

Some of us march, some pray, others protests, rebel and raise holy hell and no one can say any of them are wrong.

Because collectively we are grieving and enraged all at the same time; we have lost so many and each death effected us, even if only subconsciously.

Every death by the hands of the police has you questioning your safety during what should be a routine traffic stop.

Have you reconsidering mentioning the police as someone a child can turn to and be safe with in times of trouble.

Parents have had to change the narrative of their coming of age stories especially with their black male children to include how to live through an interaction with the police.

It’s crazy to have to explain that typically black people are seen as guilty until proven innocent and even then they are sometimes still punished.

Society might have removed the chains, but they’ve held fast to the cruelties and tenets of slavery.

Yet somehow we still make strides and make moves because our souls weren’t created to quit.

With tear stained faces and red rimmed eyes we still stand tall with our fists held high.

Burdened by the struggle to be recognized as human, worthy of life, deserving of justice.
Fighting to matter.
~micaiah

Covid Realities

So I started with some hoarseness Friday 17th attributed to sleeping to close to AC vent didn’t feel horrible so didn’t think much of it. Sat morning dry cough that quickly became moist and accompanied by chills. Started isolating as not to give Jamiyah my “cold”. Continued all my immune boosting daily supplements. Sunday morning awakened with no sense of taste or smell and a 102 fever. Scheduled an appt for Trihealth in Walgreens and tested for Covid. Went back home and continued strict isolation precautions. Purchased pulse ox to closely monitor myself. At first I was staying 95-97% in room air then noticed fevers not staying away and sats dropping some. Tuesday result positive for Covid. Continued to push fluids, herbs, supplements, teas and lots of prayers. Weds night I felt I couldn’t breath as deeply and temp spiked higher, Early Thursday I could barely breath after going to bathroom so headed to Good Sam ER. Diagnosed with pneumonia on top of Covid and admitted. Breathing has been a struggle and I am on supplemental oxygen but I am doing better than some so I won’t complain. The Nurses at Good Sam have been great. My Dr Anjum Najeed has been proactive and started me on Redemsivir so today will be dose 3, praying to see real marked improvement. This has been rough to put it mildly, but I have so many praying friends and family members that even though I am physically without visitors I feel surrounded by love and support. Special thanks to The Almighty that has already told me I’ll be victorious in this battle and for blessing me with a daughter that is wise beyond her years and understands far more than even some adults. Also thanks to my sister Rhonda Baker Napier and cousin Jamasha Hardy for ensuring I don’t have to worry about Jamiyah while fighting my way back to health. To all my sisters, sister-friends, brothers, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, play cousins, God parents, bffs, nieces and nephew’s and coworkers. I love and appreciate you all! Keep the prayers coming. Victory is Near❤️❤️❤️❤️HalleLuYAH!!!!

~micaiah

Can you see what I see?

I do not need color blind friends, because if you claim not to see color then, do you really see me?

Do you see the inherent differences in the way people of color are treated? How we are asked to forget and get over our trauma while others are allowed to embrace theirs.

I need people who see the differences and fight to change those things which are wrong and unjust. If you are not a person of color you may never understand exactly what we are up against and that’s ok. Just be empathetic towards our fight and not silently complicit.

No one would have to shout Black Lives Matter if All Lives truly Mattered because we would be included in that number. But clearly, we are not included and that’s why we continue to make noise!

The government has shown us repeatedly a closed mouth don’t get fed. If we want change we have to demand it, asking nicely since 1619 has gotten us nothing but traumatized.

~micaiah

Pushed to the edge

Today my Healthcare corporation encouraged us to participate in an 8 minute and 46 second moment of silence in honor of Mr. George Floyd and in solidarity with White Coats for Black Lives Matter (WCBL). WCBL is “an organization that strives to dismantle racism in medicine and promote the health, well-being, and self-determination of the African American community.”

During those 8 minutes and 46 seconds I couldn’t help but to think of all the things that must have flashed through Mr. Floyd’s mind, while seemingly coming to the stark realization that the police was literally killing him. I can’t even fathom what he must have been feeling and the helplessness of being rendered breathless.

I kept having that video of him being murdered, because that’s what it was, play over in a loop in my head. And of how tired I am of explaining to my 7 year old daughter that another person of color has lost their life at the hands of someone who sees them as less than, all while attempting to instill into her that she is enough.

It’s exhausting.

Racism in America, like a festering wound and abhorrent disease, has been left untreated since the nation was birthed. It’s a sickness that effects the young, old and all in between.
How can we tout this as the best nation on earth when animals get more respect and protection than people of color?

When will I not have to say extra prayers for all my male friends and family members that their lives are not taken during a simple traffic stop or interaction with the police.

Yes, we try to teach our youth how to act to stay alive, but until people stop placing symbolic bullseyes on their heads and back, hunting season continues in spite of being compliant.

All lives matter, but until Black Lives Matter there will be no peace because there won’t be any justice for us. Understand this country was founded on the backs of the people that they no longer deem matter, how hypocritical is that?

There are too many disparities in healthcare, education and the justice system for people to feel comfortable sticking their head in the sand and pretending to be unaware of what takes place around them. We know you see it, you show us with your silence that until it effects you directly you don’t care.

If you aren’t helping resolve the problems you may as well be throwing fire on the flames. You care if people mistreat their dog, yet act confounded that people would feel so strongly against the mistreatment of a whole collective group of people.
Surely, not a nation that state in God they trust! Do you not understand the same God you say you trust, created us.

When will enough, be enough for you? It’s past time for me.✊🏽🖤

~micaiah

Begin again

Life is all about learning from experience’s, sometimes we are a little slow on the uptake and have to repeat a lesson.
We often allow our emotions to guide decisions that only our mind is truly qualified to make. I know it’s hard to let go of how you feel, even when you know it’s for your own best interest.


So you pray, praying steadfast to take that feeling away. And in time your prayers are answered only for you to turn around and be tested.
Do you hold firm? or do you fold to the tantalizing memory of the addictive high?
And if this one time you fold will whoever or whatever forever have a hold of you?


I say not necessarily, sometimes we have to experience something more than once to get the true lesson from it. Everyone has a different barometer by which to measure what they can and cannot tolerate. Maybe it took that second time to reach the peak of your limits.
Hell, it may take some people multiple times and guess what? That’s their business and their prerogative.


One thing life has taught me is not to judge the hearts and lives of others, because as soon as you say what you won’t do or what you won’t put up with the Almighty or Universe will surely test you.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough tests to last several lifetimes already.


So be easy with yourself.
Now, I’m not saying settle for less than you deserve or to put up with abusive behavior. What I am saying is that ultimately it’s your life to live and you have to come to terms with what and who you allow in it and for how long.


Don’t base your life and limits by comparing it to another. Comparison is the thief of joy, do well to remember looks can be deceiving, because even salt can look like sugar.
So what looks sweet may not really be.


Trust grass grows greener wherever it’s tended to and watered. Effort proceeds progress.
So take those lessons on the chin and resolve yourself to let go of the past, grow your future and begin again as many times as you need to.
~micaiah

New Normals

This COVID-19 has me sheltering in place in. I was already doing it without the order, but now we will have no choice except to grab essential things for sustaining life or for people who are employed in essential fields i.e. grocers, gas stations, banks, health/medical fields, and public safety fields.
I am a registered nurse that works from home and homeschools my daughter on a regular basis, but for those who don’t how are you and your children adapting to this new normal?
First off, are you giving yourselves time to adjust?
Don’t think you just have to jump into the school work that was passed out or digitally assigned.
Give you and your child or children a break, take a “spring break” so to speak and relax, regroup and refocus.
Anxiety and frustration levels are high for some so this allows you and your child time to adjust.
Children can feed off our vibes and emotions, so if you are anxious and or stressed 9 times out of 10 your child or children feels it too.
Take time to sit down and discuss how these changes affect you as a family and also individually.
Discuss your fears and theirs too. Then discuss ways you all can help alleviate the stress and anxiety created by those fears.
Maybe you can learn to meditate together, or maybe have a family spa day where you all take turns taking care of each other.
Make it fun and enjoyable.
Break out the cards and board games. Make some baked goods together, try some of those new recipes you’ve tagged and saved off Facebook or Pinterest.
Appreciate this time you may have to practice or spend time doing things you are passionate about.
Get a library card if you don’t have one already and check out videos, audiobooks, and digital books. Watch movies and do reports on them. Sit on the porch or deck or balcony and observe nature or just sit quietly and do some deep breathing exercises.
Camp out in the living room and make a fort-like you used to when you were a kid.
Make this time about reconnecting with yourself as well as your family.
Keep your faith and when necessary ask for help when you are feeling down, depressed or despondent.
Reach out via phone, text, Facetime, Duo app, Houseparty or FB live to feel connected to others.
This too shall pass, so hold on and do your part in containing and limiting the spread of this virus.
Wash your hands and use hand sanitizer.
Stay home when sick, consider yourself contagious if you have or develop a fever which is 100.4 degrees or above.
Treat your signs and symptoms at home unless they become unmanageable or accompanied by respiratory distress, difficulty breathing, chest pain, severe dizziness (not relieved with rest/hydration). Boost your immunity with fresh and raw fruits and veggies, vitamins and natural supplements or herbs.
Use essential oils and aromatherapy.
Time and patience are essential.
So is faith and common sense.
We can do this alone, but spiritually together. Let’s root for and encourage one another.
One Love.
~micaiah

My two cents

My two cents from a homeschooling momma, due to the “pandemic” children are out of school and families have new normals. Parents now would be a great time to ensure your children are actually learning what they are being taught. Just because children are passed doesn’t necessarily mean they are learning. You have an opportunity to do some one-on-one teaching with your child even if it’s done outside of traditional school hours. Trust me when I say 20-30 minutes goes a long way when it’s not spread among 25-30 kids. Take the time to ensure they are also learning essential life skills: cooking, shopping, finance (saving, stocks, balancing debits/credits), gardening etc. Even children with IEPs can soar when given more time and attention, often not allowable in a traditional classroom setting. If you don’t know something go online. Youtube has great instructional videos and Khan academy is another great resource or make a facebook post requesting help, utilize your village. Please use this time to reconnect or connect even deeper with your children. Learning is life long, happens all around us and most importantly, it starts at home.❤️~micaiahism

The Circle of Life

Whenever anyone dies, it’s a humbling moment to remind us all of our mortality. No matter how we live or our socioeconomic backgrounds, we all have an expiration date.

Whether you believe in a higher power or not doesn’t negate the certainty of death.

The recent unexpected and tragic death of Kobe Bryant along with 8 other individuals rocked many.

Unexpected deaths are always hard, because there is no time to prepare or guard your emotions.

Now that I’m in my late forties and both my parents and several close friends have passed, it’s hard not to get caught up in an avalanche of grief and tears when hearing about the death of others.

It’s as if the grief of others, stirs up a hornets nest of emotions within me and I know from reading other peoples social media posts and comments that I’m not alone in those feelings.

I honestly have to force myself to limit time on social media as it can become too heavy a burden to bear. Energy no matter the source, can be transferred.

It’s important to take time for self care and to regroup after tragic events or the death of others.

It’s easy to allow the darkness and cloak of depression to envelop you into a false sense of comfort.

Don’t be fooled, your light is not out. The flame may have flickered, but as long as you have breath that light still shines.

So, I’ve committed to living more intentionally.

To appreciate the days and make them count.

To create new and lasting memories.

To live, laugh and love and show appreciation for all those in my life.

To let go of the small stuff and focus on the bigger picture.

I’ve committed to be a better version of myself and live each day to the fullest, because we never know when it will be our last.

~Micaiah

Misery loves company

Don’t let others project their misery onto you.

People that can not control you physically will attempt to manipulate you emotionally and mentally. Happiness is an inside job, don’t be fooled by outside forces.

No one can control the actions of others, but you are always in control of your reaction and response to them.

People will try to bury you in chaos, don’t suffer in the dirt, grow from it and flourish.

Sometimes the best response is silence and the best revenge is success by way of inner peace and happiness.

Misery loves company, so don’t answer the door if it comes knocking!

~micaiah

Fool for Love

We’ve all been there and done that, played the fool that is. Left you wondering if you could have plead temporary insanity during that span of time.

Left you questioning yourself and your ability to pick a worthy mate. Nothing to beat yourself up for, every lesson is a blessing, even the ones you perceive as failed.

Past relationships teach us as much about ourselves as it does other people, well if we are honest with introspection it does. You have to honestly look inside to discover why you were attracted to people in your past.

Oftentimes, if we do not work through traumas or voids in our childhoods we wind up attracting those same type of people in our adolescence and adulthood. It is said you attract what you reflect. So if you want to attract better, reflect better. And yes, it can be that simple.

When you truly and thoroughly love yourself you will refuse to be in a relationship that does not mirror your self love and who does not reciprocate your effort.

You will learn to grow through what you go through and become better because of it. Heartbreak can be rough, but allow it to make you better not bitter.

Sometimes we have to lose in order to have room to gain. Keep pushing!

~micaiah