I Wish I didn’t Know

I wish I didn’t know…

that one day every living thing must one day go

back to the dust from which it came.

I wish I didn’t know…

that sometimes people don’t get healed

and pain unleashed reveals itself in an avalanche of tears.

I wish I didn’t know…

That cancer is a monster and not just a sign of the zodiac

it doesn’t respect persons old or young and runs you ragged and tortures you before it’s done.

I wish I didn’t know…

friendships don’t always last until you grow old

sometimes death severs it’s hold.

I wish I didn’t know…

Life will give you bitter with the sweet

and bad things sometimes happens to the good folks you meet.

I wish I didn’t know…

That grief can last forever, it’s coping mechanisms that change

When you lose someone you love,

life is never quite the same.

I wish I didn’t know.

~micaiah

Changing Seasons

Her heart was warm and vibrant pumping a selfless type of love

It pumped until its chambers were depleted

a supply unreciprocated will dry up

and like the changing seasons

her personality changed too

unrequited love changed her confidence into insecurity

She couldn’t quite remember when she lost sight of herself

She’s pretty sure it happened when she was pouring so much into others

Somehow they gained vibrancy at her expense as she turned into a less vibrant copy of her former self

Somehow she started to internalize the outward inaction of another and took ownership of issues that didn’t start with her

and they allowed her to because she was to magnificent to behold in all her technicolor majestic-ness

But with her bathed in shades of grey they seemed so much more appealing than they actually were

So they attempted to lull her into accepting the fantasy as a reality

and for a while they were successful

they tied those rose colored glasses to her face with strings of lies, laden with whispers of sweet nothings and orgasmic soul ties

Emotions took control and logic took a back seat

And the color continued to be drained from her

until her insides were as black as a starless night

She lost her zeal and ultimately her appeal and the love leech went scouting for a new host

leaving her to fall freely

and for a while she lay there covered in blackness and feeling buried

until realizing during her fall those glasses and bindings were knocked loose

there was a light in the darkness

as she sprouted from the darkness

she realized she was never buried

she was planted

and as she grew into a new version of herself

her color returned

along with a fierce love of self

the season had changed and

so had she

this was her season

she was back and more vibrant than before

because she realized her moment of weakness and falling

did not define her

her ability

to get back up did.

~micaiah

A love more deserving

She loved him past his faults

And despite his flaws.

She loved him when his words

didn’t match his actions.

She loved his potential,

her vision of how great he could be.

She loved him

until

she realized her love

couldn’t change him

no, only he could do that.

And while she loved him,

through the hurt and disappointment,

she grew and evolved

to the point she recognized

it was time to let go

and love herself more

than she loved him.

And when she let go,

she allowed herself

to be blessed

with a love more deserving.

~micaiah

Kissing frogs

Don’t allow yourself to self-sabotage future relationships. You deserve the very best that life and love has to offer. You just have to be willing to see the blessings in the lesson.

Sometimes we have to kiss a few frogs in order to fully appreciate when we find our “One”. The frog isn’t a punishment, it’s a teachable moment. Sometimes they teach us patience and sometimes they teach us exactly what we don’t want in a mate.

Either way use the experience as a catalyst for growth. Experience is the best teacher, but sometimes it takes a whole lot of trial and error to come up with the winning combination.

~Micaiah

How much do you love you?

A lot of us are great at being honest with everyone but ourselves. We will scream and shout how much we love ourselves and refuse to settle when it comes to how someone else may treat us, but we forget to demand that same level from ourselves.

If you truly love yourself, you’ll work towards being the best version of yourself in every aspect of your life: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially.

How much love do you have for yourself if you aren’t working to be the healthiest version of you that you can be? We psych ourselves into believing we have to be in love with our fat selves and our thick thighs, but if that isn’t the healthiest version of you, how is it love? You can be comfortable in who you are, and still recognize your need for improvement.

You tell yourself you can’t be with anyone that has nothing to bring to the table, when your table is being held up by one leg made of bills and debts you owe. Yeah, you have a nice career, but you owe out more than you make. By refusing to get a handle on your debt not only are you not showing love to yourself, but you’re not showing love to the children to whom you’ll leave your debts instead of an inheritance.

We have to be honest with ourselves and admit when we don’t love ourselves as much as we should.

Self-reflection is necessary in order for there to be growth.

Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself and your family in all areas of your life.

If you feel like the blessings aren’t coming, maybe it’s because you need to rid your life of the cluttered chaos in it.

Take inventory and then make a list of steps you can take to clean up the areas in your life that do not represent the love you have for yourself.

Take it one step at a time and don’t be afraid to ask for help in areas where you need it.

You are most definitely worth your best efforts.

Remember love is an action word and that applies even more-so when it refers to how you truly show love for you!

~Micaiahism

What I Won’t Do

I don’t need anyone to complete me I’m already whole

I’ve been figured out I’m enough, since I’ve been surviving and thriving in a world so tough

although I may not need you financially

I want you mentally, physically and emotionally

I refuse to dumb myself down just to feed your ego or support your waning masculinity

I can be a source of strength and help mate if you let me be

But first you have to see me as more than just a wet and warm good time

How about you stop ogling my breast and concentrate on my mind

Keep your sweet nothings, I feed off honesty

Please tell me no lies

You say you want someone more needy and softer

Yet you walked all over the last one like that and her self-esteem it cost her

We need to get back that complete and deep love of self

so we’ll be able to recognize and expect that same type of effort from someone else

Let’s get back to respecting and praying for one another

Instead of playing and preying with the hearts of one another

We need one another to survive

But we have to make sure we can offer more than what’s in our pockets or in between our thighs

because time is short and my patience is too

So playing myself by accepting less is something I just won’t do.

-micaiah