Tag: love

Anticipating grief

There is a particular kind of grief that comes with loving someone who is still here.

A grief that begins long before goodbye.

A grief that sits beside you at dinner, rides with you in the car, and sleeps in the next room.

Because terminal illness doesn’t just take a life.
It slowly changes it.
And those who love them bear witness to every loss along the way.

My sister is still here.

But cancer is steadily asking more of her and more of those who love her.

As her primary caregiver, her person, her sister, I spend my days helping her navigate what this disease has stolen while trying to preserve what remains.

As a nurse, I’ve walked beside countless families through this journey.

Yet nothing prepares your own heart when it’s your family.
When it’s your person.

There are no clinical skills for this part.

No textbook chapter on watching someone you love slowly surrender pieces of themselves while you stand helplessly beside them.

So I pray.
I support.
I advocate.
I comfort.
I carry what I can.

But some nights, I find myself wondering:

Who comforts the comforter?

Whose shoulder do I rest my head on when I’ve spent so much time being a place for others to lean?

Because while grief is asking much of me, life has not paused.

I am still Mom.
Still working full-time.
Still preparing to permanently raise the toddler cousin who already calls my heart home.

And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I am navigating menopause, becoming acquainted with a version of myself I have never met before.

Some days I feel strong.

Other days I feel stretched so thin that even breathing feels like work.

But I keep showing up.

Not because I’m fearless.
Not because I’m strong all the time.

But because love requires things from us that comfort never will.

If you’re carrying a burden no one sees…
If you’re grieving someone who is still alive…
If you’re holding everyone together while quietly falling apart yourself…

I see you.

I am reminding myself of the same thing I would tell you:

You do not have to carry all of this alone.

~micaiah

The Unfinished Business of July 4th

As we approach July 4th, it’s crucial to acknowledge that this day resonates differently for many. For people of color, the celebration of American independence can be a poignant reminder of a time when the freedoms declared in 1776 were not extended to all. Our nation’s history is undeniably complex, and the ongoing journey toward true equality and freedom feels particularly precarious under the current political climate.

While the ideals of liberty and justice remain worthy aspirations, this day also serves as a vital opportunity to recognize the profound struggles and invaluable contributions of those historically excluded from the original promise of freedom. Especially now, as we witness so many having their civil liberties eroded in the name of a narrow and manipulated definition of democracy, this reflection becomes even more urgent.

Given the current state of the world—the threats to civil liberties, basic human rights, and fundamental human decency—we must confront the difficult question of whether America can truly still be called the “land of the free.” The establishment of concentration camps under the guise of “detention centers” in severe and inhumane conditions and the relentless push towards homogeneity challenge the very notion of a diverse and inclusive society. It increasingly appears that genuine liberty and justice are reserved for a privileged few, and freedom remains profoundly incomplete if it does not encompass the ability for all to live with dignity and respect.

Despite these sobering realities, we must not give up hope. Many of us will persevere, choosing to use this day as a time to forge connections with friends and family, to find moments of joy, and to create our own traditions and memories. This act of coming together, of finding light amidst the shadows, is in itself an act of resilience.

Let’s harness this day not just for celebration, but for deep reflection on our history, for a courageous embrace of our collective shortcomings, and, most importantly, for a renewed commitment to working tirelessly toward a future where freedom and equality are, without exception, truly for everyone. Our continued dedication to these ideals is what will ultimately ensure that humanity and human decency prevail.~micaiah

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

Don’t Wait Until Retirement to Enjoy the Fruits of Your Labor

Retirement is often seen as the golden period of life, a time when we can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of our labor. However, waiting until retirement to celebrate yourself and enjoy life can be a risky gamble. Once you retire, you have more days behind you than ahead of you, and the reality is that tomorrow may never come. It’s crucial to stop waiting and start celebrating yourself now.

The Importance of Living in the Present

Life is unpredictable, and the future is uncertain. While planning for retirement is important, it’s equally vital to take time off and enjoy what truly matters—spending time with family, friends, and loved ones. These moments of joy and connection are what make life meaningful. They are the memories that will stay with you forever, far more valuable than any material possession.

Laugh, Live, Love.

Jobs Serve a Purpose, But Shouldn’t Be Your Sole Purpose

Our jobs serve a need—they provide financial stability, a sense of accomplishment, and sometimes even personal fulfillment. However, they should not be the sole purpose of our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work, but it’s essential to remember that life is about more than just your career. Taking time to enjoy hobbies, travel, and simply relax can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Celebrate Yourself Today

Don’t wait for a milestone like retirement to start celebrating yourself. Take a day off to do something you love, plan a weekend getaway with your family, or simply spend an evening with friends. These moments of joy and relaxation are not just indulgences—they are investments in your well-being and happiness.

Take time to enjoy life

Remember, while it’s important to plan for the future, it’s equally important to live in the present. Don’t wait until retirement to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Celebrate yourself today, spend time with loved ones, and make the most of every moment. Life is too short to wait for tomorrow—embrace today and live it to the fullest.~micaiah

Embrace Your Inner Queen: A Journey to Self-Worth and Empowerment

I speak from the perspective of a woman, for that is who I am.

As women, we sometimes accept preconceived notions and convince ourselves that these notions serve us well. For instance, when faced with men who habitually cheat—there is a stark difference between a man who deceives and betrays, and one who honestly expresses his desire not to be monogamous. The truth may hurt, but it remains the truth.

Some women accept the deceitful behavior of a cheating partner as evidence that all men cheat, resigning themselves to being treated as less deserving. They endure lies and disrespect, believing it’s better to stick with the familiar than to risk the unknown. They fail to realize that a lack of boundaries fosters a lack of respect.

You cannot accept someone’s garbage and then wonder why they treat you like trash. This is akin to Stockholm Syndrome—loving and empathizing with your abuser. Placing yourself in a situation where you are degraded through lies and treachery is emotional and mental abuse, leading to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem.

What you allow is what will continue. You must command respect, and if those demands are not met, love yourself enough to walk away from any situation where you are treated as less than the treasure you are.

Women, do not view being alone as being lonely. Use that time to define and refine yourself. Treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Discover the beauty and peace in self-love and self-respect, and experience the soul-fulfilling joy of peace of mind.

Never allow someone else to become so important that you lose yourself and your dignity. Forgive yourself for lapses in judgment and poor decisions. As you learn better, be determined to do better. You cannot move forward safely if you are stuck looking backward.

A Queen does not cease to be royalty simply because there is no King by her side. Clothe yourself in love, crown yourself in self-worth, and never allow anyone to treat you as less than the regal woman you are.

Everyone has played the fool for love at some point; the key is not becoming comfortable in that role.~micaiah

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