The Unfortunate Habit of getting Burned

When you are little your parents, if they are the nurturing and loving sort, try to warn you from all the ills in life that will bring you pain. They tell you, “No, sweetie don’t touch that hot pot you’ll get burned.” “Don’t climb so high you’ll fall down.” And sometimes you listen and stayed safe and sometimes curiosity killed the cat or at least curiosity burned your hand, as you learned the hard way that it hurts to touch a hot stove.

People that give and give of themselves, never setting boundaries with others that gladly take from them, are like that small child, that heard the warning yet still took the chance of being burned.

Sure, everyone knows that you can’t pour from an empty cup. But no one explains how to break the cycle of feeling as if we have to please people in order to feel love. Or how gratifying it can be to give to yourself what you so freely give to others.

From the time we are young, we see examples of our mothers giving of themselves to take care of the children, the home and their mate/husband. We see single moms that make things happen when there is seemingly no way they should. We see adults tired, working day in and day out so their families can survive. So, we absorb that mentality that you give to those you care about even if they never have anything to give you, you just keep giving. Even to the point of defeat and exhaustion. Working and giving of themselves sometimes straight into early graves.

It’s a seriously flawed concept. One that often leads to couples staying together to raise children only to divorce later once the kids are “old enough,” often feeling they lived a life unfulfilled. And single moms feeling as if they wasted all their good years on their grown, ungrateful kids. While sometimes that is the case, oftentimes these feelings are a result of extreme burn out. Of having your soul depleted to the point you have nothing to give, not a thought, worry or care, not even for yourself.

We have to change the mindset that is is better to give than to receive. Let’s say, it’s better to give just as much as you get, even if those things you get are a result of your own doing. We have to learn to refill our cups. We are solely responsible for maintaining our inner peace and happiness. Can other people lend to those feelings? Absolutely! But they are not the driving force behind those feelings. That is an inside job.

People will tell you “No” is a complete sentence. Yet, you will still worry your nerves over saying it, feeling as if you need to expound on the reason. You do not have to feel guilty for using your excess on yourself. Whether that excess is time, money or energy. You are not obligated to give so much of yourself to anyone that it leaves you with nothing left for you.

You have to learn to schedule and set aside time for yourself. Give yourself gifts, write yourself notes affirming how amazing you are. Buy yourself those flowers, or that pretty dress. Dress up just because you like the way it makes you feel. When you start treating yourself right and ensuring your cup stays full. People will reap the benefit of your overflow. You’ll be so full, you can’t help but to give that overflow to others and it won’t even be as noticeable.

Stop allowing yourself to be burned by the expectations of others. Stop equating your acts of service as fair exchange for love, affection and appreciation. Those things should be given freely and not contingent on what someone can get from or out of you.

You are too amazing to keep allowing your soul to be exhausted. Guard yourself and set those boundaries. People that truly love you will never want to see you get burned.

~Micaiah

In the Spirit of Maturity

In 2022 and beyond, what we’re not going to do is waste time explaining the things that should be apparent. Like being mature after a certain age, treating people how you want to be treated and common courtesy even in the midst of differing opinions.

If you are grown, let’s spend more time acting grown, than we do announcing it. Let’s perfect the art of minding our own business versus mindless gossip. I don’t know about the next person, but between tending to my child, work and elderly loved ones I could care less what the next person is doing. And since I waited so late in life to have a child, forget keeping up with the Jones’s I need to keep up with her. Let’s just say, that’s no small feat with these bad knees, lol.

Why can’t we, as grown adults, find real joy in the happiness and victories of others versus feeling jealous and insecure in our own short comings. People need to understand that timing is everything and what looks like an easy win, may have come on the tail end of hardship, sacrifice and struggles. And that just because someone else’s success manifested itself first, doesn’t mean yours isn’t still coming. Don’t block your blessings harboring negative feelings.

Being grown isn’t just an age range it’s a state of mind and being. It should be a time full of introspection and peace. Time to realize or finalize plans and dreams. We should be well beyond petty disagreements and the inability to communicate respectfully. We should be well versed in agreeing to disagree without falling out and playing the victim.

I refuse to waste time and energy on people that refuse to act their age. I’m not explaining things to people that are far beyond the age and have the mental capacity to understand. I will not carry the burden of other people’s immaturity and selfishness. If they love drama and chaos leave them in a cage or on the stage, because life is short and grown ups have better things to do with their time and energy, or at least they should.

I also fully understand that some people often grow old, but never grow up, but they need to take that Peter Pan mentality and stay far away from those of us that have relinquished our lives as caterpillars and are flying on the wings of our lives as butterflies. If you can’t fly with us, do us the favor and move out our way.

Let’s spend our time investing in ourselves and in those that invest in you. Live your best life and encourage those around you to do the same. Lifting up others is a sure fire way to elevate yourself. You won’t have to announce you’re grown if your actions speak for you. So, protect your peace, sage your life of negativity and float into your best years.

~Micaiah

My wish for 2022

I didn’t make any resolutions per say, I’d label them more goals, manifestations or key words.

I’m working towards being a better me daily.

My keywords are: completion, abundance, dedication and renew.

I fervently hope 2022 brings fresh energy with it and good health. This pandemic has been rough to live through, but we take the bitter with the sweet and keep it pushing.

I hope people give themselves the grace they extend to others this year.

I hope people learn to love themselves in such a way that it lends itself to treating others better as well.

Even if the world is unkind, I plan to practice more mindfulness and being grateful.

I plan to love myself so well, others smile when they see my happy glow.

Big changes can occur by first taking small steps.

Sometimes we overwhelm ourselves by planning too big.

We need to take small bite sized portions of those big plans to make them more manageable.

Also, having more small steps can give you a greater sense of accomplishment when you are able to scratch them off as completed. Let 2022 be about celebrating the small wins too.

We may not have arrived at our desired destination, but if we give ourselves credit we’ve done far more than we often realize.

So, 2022 is about self-love, self-care, space from people, things and energy that no longer serve you and grace.

I pray you find peace and joy in the simple things and that you understand sometimes you are more rich than your back account would imply.

No matter what your dreams, goals, resolutions or aspirations look like, I am claiming they all come true! Let’s go have an awesome year, no matter what comes our way!

~Micaiah

Through the process

Shed the skin of expectancy and peel off the facade of perfection.
Free your heart from the shortcomings of others and yourself.
Unburden your shoulders from carrying the shame of associating with soulless beings.
Cleanse your eyes from the blurry half truths and focus on the freedom of reality.
Change occurs only with the realization that there is room for improvement.
Whether you improve your physical, mental, emotional, financial or spiritual well-being it all ends in your betterment.
Be better and most importantly love yourself through the process.
~micaiah

Begin again

Life is all about learning from experience’s, sometimes we are a little slow on the uptake and have to repeat a lesson.
We often allow our emotions to guide decisions that only our mind is truly qualified to make. I know it’s hard to let go of how you feel, even when you know it’s for your own best interest.


So you pray, praying steadfast to take that feeling away. And in time your prayers are answered only for you to turn around and be tested.
Do you hold firm? or do you fold to the tantalizing memory of the addictive high?
And if this one time you fold will whoever or whatever forever have a hold of you?


I say not necessarily, sometimes we have to experience something more than once to get the true lesson from it. Everyone has a different barometer by which to measure what they can and cannot tolerate. Maybe it took that second time to reach the peak of your limits.
Hell, it may take some people multiple times and guess what? That’s their business and their prerogative.


One thing life has taught me is not to judge the hearts and lives of others, because as soon as you say what you won’t do or what you won’t put up with the Almighty or Universe will surely test you.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough tests to last several lifetimes already.


So be easy with yourself.
Now, I’m not saying settle for less than you deserve or to put up with abusive behavior. What I am saying is that ultimately it’s your life to live and you have to come to terms with what and who you allow in it and for how long.


Don’t base your life and limits by comparing it to another. Comparison is the thief of joy, do well to remember looks can be deceiving, because even salt can look like sugar.
So what looks sweet may not really be.


Trust grass grows greener wherever it’s tended to and watered. Effort proceeds progress.
So take those lessons on the chin and resolve yourself to let go of the past, grow your future and begin again as many times as you need to.
~micaiah

Where happiness meets healing

Sometimes it’s not the intimate aspect of the relationship you miss, it’s the friendship

The ability for someone to know you better than you know yourself

Someone that knows your moods and can communicate without conversation

someone that can pull a smile from you even when you are annoyingly aggravated

Someone you can be free with without judgment

Even when you’re afraid to uncover your heart, they feed you laughter as medicine and help cure your hidden and broken parts

Because sometimes we don’t truly heal, because we are so intent on not being able to feel

Sometimes we blur the line and it takes time to get back aligned with the true purpose for you and them

Maybe you were not ever meant to be in love

because the greater need is to be a friend

and in the end

in that realization

is where true happiness and healing begins.

~micaiah

Misery loves company

Don’t let others project their misery onto you.

People that can not control you physically will attempt to manipulate you emotionally and mentally. Happiness is an inside job, don’t be fooled by outside forces.

No one can control the actions of others, but you are always in control of your reaction and response to them.

People will try to bury you in chaos, don’t suffer in the dirt, grow from it and flourish.

Sometimes the best response is silence and the best revenge is success by way of inner peace and happiness.

Misery loves company, so don’t answer the door if it comes knocking!

~micaiah

Fool for Love

We’ve all been there and done that, played the fool that is. Left you wondering if you could have plead temporary insanity during that span of time.

Left you questioning yourself and your ability to pick a worthy mate. Nothing to beat yourself up for, every lesson is a blessing, even the ones you perceive as failed.

Past relationships teach us as much about ourselves as it does other people, well if we are honest with introspection it does. You have to honestly look inside to discover why you were attracted to people in your past.

Oftentimes, if we do not work through traumas or voids in our childhoods we wind up attracting those same type of people in our adolescence and adulthood. It is said you attract what you reflect. So if you want to attract better, reflect better. And yes, it can be that simple.

When you truly and thoroughly love yourself you will refuse to be in a relationship that does not mirror your self love and who does not reciprocate your effort.

You will learn to grow through what you go through and become better because of it. Heartbreak can be rough, but allow it to make you better not bitter.

Sometimes we have to lose in order to have room to gain. Keep pushing!

~micaiah

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