Love Missed

I haven’t written a poem in a while. I was just laying in bed listening to rain drops and this came pouring out.

Guess the rain did its job.

Check it out

I miss the potential of you that I conjured up in all my imaginings

When I saw what you could be, if only you were brave enough to grow and evolve from who you were

When I inhaled the scent of you and basked in the warmth of your embrace

I miss your lips implanting the sweetest of nothing’s as you kissed my 3rd eye and opened me up too receive all that was good, special and magical about you

I miss the heat that blushing brings to my face and the moist desire gathering between my thighs as I remember the sensual details you whispered of all the things you’d like to do to me

I miss the encouragement and support that your friendship brings

A pillar of protection from life’s storms and pain

I miss the perfect representation of Love we could represent by being our imperfectly authentic selves

I miss the security of knowing my heart could rest safely in your hands and you’d cherish it like the most precious of gifts

I miss ignorance being bliss and not knowing the emptiness of love missed.

~micaiah

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Meeting people where they are

It takes growth and maturity to be able to be less critical of one’s parents and to be able to understand they were on a personal journey themselves. It took years for me to understand that people can’t give you what they don’t have within themselves and that sometimes you can only look inward to get what you thought would come from without.

As a the youngest of 4 girl’s, I felt the love even if it wasn’t verbally expressed a lot. Once I was older it became more natural to hear my parents tell me they loved me, but it was because I often initiated the dialogue. When I think back over my childhood, love wasn’t expressed so much as it was shown, at least not in the home. As an adult as I look back on their upbringing, I can understand that’s the way they were raised up. Children were mostly seen and not heard.

Although my maternal grandfather died when I was 10 or 11, I can’t remember him ever saying much to me at all. I can’t truly recall 1 conversation. I would hear him talk to my parents, but not to me. So, I can only imagine that he didn’t speak much to children in general. He worked hard and after work had a few drinks, came home ate dinner and prepared to do it all over again the next day. And as far as my paternal grandfather, he passed when my dad was 13 years old, thrusting my father into the role as man of the house. He was more of a doer and a teller of what needs to be done than to talk about emotions and feelings. As an adult, I see how that shaped them, and at the same time how it may have affected me in ways I didn’t even realize.

Looking back on friendships I had, I see I didn’t always express gratitude through my words and conversations, but I felt I expressed them through my loyalty and protective nature. I was very much my fathers daughter, meaning I sometimes came off as gruff or uncaring but I still provided for and protected my friends. In the immaturity of our youth we are often self-centered and don’t often consider how others’ experiences have shaped them. We react and do not fully consider others in the realm of consequences.

In hind sight, I see that I could have been gentler with some friends and I can see that others should have been gentler with me. Yet it all proved to shape and mold me into the woman I am today. We must learn from others what their love looks like and accept it as their truth. Perceptions guide experience, it’s the reason people raised in the same household can have a vast and varying degree of differences in character and personality.

We must understand that even in a family you are a singular person, among a group of people, journeying, learning and evolving. We all function at different vibrations and frequencies, when we can accept and respect this fact then static becomes less frequent and acceptance becomes a rule versus the exception.

As you grow to love and have more compassion for yourself, you learn to do the same for others. Everyone isn’t meant to vibrate at your frequency and sometimes through the acts of empathy and compassion, you simply and gently, meet them where they are.

~Micaiah

Purpose filled

It’s easy to get discouraged when it appears that walking in your purpose is not at all how you envisioned. Whether that vision was connected to monetary gain, notoriety or a sense of comradery and solidarity with family, friends and peers, you may feel you have fallen short of the mark when you find yourself being a sole champion of your cause. I say keep pushing and keep pursuing your purpose.

Walking in your purpose is for you. It is a soul satisfying experience to do what you were called or created to do. It won’t always be recognized by others as noteworthy or great at first. I think that’s all apart of the soul evolution that one must go through. When you are doing what you are called to do it will bring you pleasure and a sense of fulfillment, even if that pleasure is not shared with the masses.

People at their best are often self-centered and talk more than they show. Meaning people will encourage you before you do whatever it may be, but often forget all about you while you pursue or do whatever it may be. They don’t want to see the process, they just want to claim to know you once you achieve success. Remember some people are intimidated by the mere confidence that you display by being bold enough to live in the truth of your authenticity.

Sometimes in order to transform your life, you must declutter your, life and get rid of all the things that will stop or slow the flow of positive, forward movement. Trust the process will culminate in progress, no matter how long it may take.

So, keep dreaming, envisioning, building, branding, writing, creating and walking head up and shoulders back into your purpose. It was destined for you and you will no doubt do it well. It doesn’t matter if the next person’s idea looks like yours, your personality and moral integrity and creative expression will set you light years apart from the others. Toyota didn’t stop making cars just because Ford was already in business, so don’t let imitators and naysayers block you, because they have no power to stop you.

All your dreams will indeed come true when you focus on achieving the life destined for you.

~micaiah