Category: blogs

Love Missed

I haven’t written a poem in a while. I was just laying in bed listening to rain drops and this came pouring out.

Guess the rain did its job.

Check it out

I miss the potential of you that I conjured up in all my imaginings

When I saw what you could be, if only you were brave enough to grow and evolve from who you were

When I inhaled the scent of you and basked in the warmth of your embrace

I miss your lips implanting the sweetest of nothing’s as you kissed my 3rd eye and opened me up too receive all that was good, special and magical about you

I miss the heat that blushing brings to my face and the moist desire gathering between my thighs as I remember the sensual details you whispered of all the things you’d like to do to me

I miss the encouragement and support that your friendship brings

A pillar of protection from life’s storms and pain

I miss the perfect representation of Love we could represent by being our imperfectly authentic selves

I miss the security of knowing my heart could rest safely in your hands and you’d cherish it like the most precious of gifts

I miss ignorance being bliss and not knowing the emptiness of love missed.

~micaiah

Meeting people where they are

It takes growth and maturity to be able to be less critical of one’s parents and to be able to understand they were on a personal journey themselves. It took years for me to understand that people can’t give you what they don’t have within themselves and that sometimes you can only look inward to get what you thought would come from without.

As a the youngest of 4 girl’s, I felt the love even if it wasn’t verbally expressed a lot. Once I was older it became more natural to hear my parents tell me they loved me, but it was because I often initiated the dialogue. When I think back over my childhood, love wasn’t expressed so much as it was shown, at least not in the home. As an adult as I look back on their upbringing, I can understand that’s the way they were raised up. Children were mostly seen and not heard.

Although my maternal grandfather died when I was 10 or 11, I can’t remember him ever saying much to me at all. I can’t truly recall 1 conversation. I would hear him talk to my parents, but not to me. So, I can only imagine that he didn’t speak much to children in general. He worked hard and after work had a few drinks, came home ate dinner and prepared to do it all over again the next day. And as far as my paternal grandfather, he passed when my dad was 13 years old, thrusting my father into the role as man of the house. He was more of a doer and a teller of what needs to be done than to talk about emotions and feelings. As an adult, I see how that shaped them, and at the same time how it may have affected me in ways I didn’t even realize.

Looking back on friendships I had, I see I didn’t always express gratitude through my words and conversations, but I felt I expressed them through my loyalty and protective nature. I was very much my fathers daughter, meaning I sometimes came off as gruff or uncaring but I still provided for and protected my friends. In the immaturity of our youth we are often self-centered and don’t often consider how others’ experiences have shaped them. We react and do not fully consider others in the realm of consequences.

In hind sight, I see that I could have been gentler with some friends and I can see that others should have been gentler with me. Yet it all proved to shape and mold me into the woman I am today. We must learn from others what their love looks like and accept it as their truth. Perceptions guide experience, it’s the reason people raised in the same household can have a vast and varying degree of differences in character and personality.

We must understand that even in a family you are a singular person, among a group of people, journeying, learning and evolving. We all function at different vibrations and frequencies, when we can accept and respect this fact then static becomes less frequent and acceptance becomes a rule versus the exception.

As you grow to love and have more compassion for yourself, you learn to do the same for others. Everyone isn’t meant to vibrate at your frequency and sometimes through the acts of empathy and compassion, you simply and gently, meet them where they are.

~Micaiah

Purpose filled

It’s easy to get discouraged when it appears that walking in your purpose is not at all how you envisioned. Whether that vision was connected to monetary gain, notoriety or a sense of comradery and solidarity with family, friends and peers, you may feel you have fallen short of the mark when you find yourself being a sole champion of your cause. I say keep pushing and keep pursuing your purpose.

Walking in your purpose is for you. It is a soul satisfying experience to do what you were called or created to do. It won’t always be recognized by others as noteworthy or great at first. I think that’s all apart of the soul evolution that one must go through. When you are doing what you are called to do it will bring you pleasure and a sense of fulfillment, even if that pleasure is not shared with the masses.

People at their best are often self-centered and talk more than they show. Meaning people will encourage you before you do whatever it may be, but often forget all about you while you pursue or do whatever it may be. They don’t want to see the process, they just want to claim to know you once you achieve success. Remember some people are intimidated by the mere confidence that you display by being bold enough to live in the truth of your authenticity.

Sometimes in order to transform your life, you must declutter your, life and get rid of all the things that will stop or slow the flow of positive, forward movement. Trust the process will culminate in progress, no matter how long it may take.

So, keep dreaming, envisioning, building, branding, writing, creating and walking head up and shoulders back into your purpose. It was destined for you and you will no doubt do it well. It doesn’t matter if the next person’s idea looks like yours, your personality and moral integrity and creative expression will set you light years apart from the others. Toyota didn’t stop making cars just because Ford was already in business, so don’t let imitators and naysayers block you, because they have no power to stop you.

All your dreams will indeed come true when you focus on achieving the life destined for you.

~micaiah

Love is

“What love looks and feels like changes with the evolution of your mental state. With maturity and growth, there will come a time that you look back at your past failed relationships and become thankful that the Almighty interceded before they could make it into your future.” ~ Micaiahism

We’ve all heard or even experienced the fact that at time love hurts. Well, it’s not entirely accurate, love didn’t do a thing, it was the person we attached the feelings of love to that caused the pain. Whether it was a pain derived from family, friend or from an intimate partner it changes you. Some people carry the pain or trauma with them for a life time, it becomes baggage from unhealed wounds, a relationship hazard.

We must learn to look at endings and not only see or feel the hurt and devastation, but also see the blessing in the lesson. People cannot love others if they are not first taught the importance of loving themselves. Parents are people first and foremost, with that said, if a person is not taught how to be caring and selfless it is not inherent to all. Self-love is critical for building the foundation upon which any relationship will stand. Without it, people are left to the whims of being driven by the emotions, reactions and thoughts of others. When we do not first love ourselves, we erroneously believe that our happiness is ultimately tied to others.

When you are blessed to evolve in your thinking and become enlightened to the fact that happiness is a choice and an inside job, it gives you the power back that once was placed in the hands of others. Happiness is relative to the person that chooses to embrace it. That does not mean the person won’t experience sad times, but it does mean they understand that there is balance in everything and that a sad time does not have to equate to overwhelming or depressed emotions. The same is true of self-love, once you understand that you must look past and forgive yourself for your flaws and or imperfections, past mistakes and negative self-talk, then you are able to love yourself unconditionally.

We must learn to leave baggage where it is, if its weight hinders us from moving forward. Stop assuming you need to unpack it, sometimes you just need to throw it all away; it’s just a reminder of what didn’t fit or what didn’t work. You don’t need the reminder if it only works to keep you stagnant and wallowing in the feeling of defeat or inadequacy. Throwing away that baggage may entail you getting therapy to talk through the hurt, journaling, meditation, spiritual cleansing, prayer, fasting or a multitude of other methods, whatever it takes, do it. You will always be worth your best efforts.

Love looks different as you mature and evolve, sometimes love looks like peace of mind and time spent communing with yourself. You must determine what love looks and feels like and once you do, don’t settle for anything less.

~micaiah

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