Adrift and bereft

I haven’t written in a while. I was transitioning in my feelings from numb to grieving, once again death called a friend home and left me feeling adrift and bereft. Untethered just floating in a sea of feelings and unleashed emotions

Death is hard, but unexpected death, one not a result of some chronic or terminal illness is even harder; especially when it’s a best friend. A confidante and kindred spirit, someone that you laughingly joked about growing old with. It was surreal seeing her lifeless and so still. She had always been so lively and full of life. Her Aura would bring light to any room, but death robbed the world of her presence.

I’m a spiritual being so I know all souls belong to the Creator and are only on a short loan to those of us that live in this earthly world. Even knowing and understanding her latter end doesn’t make the pain any less intense.

Witnessing another mother bury her child is something I dread each and every time, because by nature I’m an empath and I feel things deeply and knowing I can do nothing to repair the hole left is gut wrenching. Of course I can offer help and sympathy but those things don’t touch that feeling that resides deep in one’s soul when they suffer the loss of someone close to them. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like for a mother to lose the very person that grew inside her womb.

The older I get it seems the more prayers and condolences I extend, and yet the world keeps turning and days continue into night. And although death changes the world of those effected, the rest of the world goes on. And although at times you wish you could curl up in a ball and just forget about everything and everyone else, you can’t, because you still have life within you.

And because you inherently know you have a responsibility to keep the memory and love of the deceased alive. So you surf the waves of your grief, you allow yourself to feel, but you fight to keep your head above water because you don’t want to purposely hasten your own demise and be the cause of someone’s else’s grief.

The circle of life keeps turning much like the earth. We latch on to friends and family and every golden memory we can in an effort to establish a new normal.

That’s where I find myself, trying to find my new normal, without one of my best friend’s advice and input, one without her notes left in my library books on the hold shelf. A life that is without her text messages full of inside jokes and one that is without her book nerd humor and shared favorite authors and titles. One without her voice and knowing they’ll be no new songs sung it’s all still so hard to comprehend.

But I know she would push me forward and want me to accomplish all the goals and dreams we had discussed. She’d want to see me smile and laugh and enjoy life fully. So some way somehow I will, because to keep a smile on my face and joy in my heart may just be one of the best ways to remember her.

Missing you and loving you forever my friend

In Loving Memory of Hilakiyah Yisrael 3/10/1970-5/5/2019

~Micaiah

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The Why behind The Gift of Being Peculiar

I’m Micaiah, homeschool mom, Registered nurse, writer/blogger, poet and self-published authoress. Being a self-published artist is a bigger job than I realized, but the reward of seeing your thoughts in print is worth it. I write various genre’s my first published work was a collection of poetry, essays and what I have come to call ‘Micaiahisms’, my second and third were urban fiction. Keep in mind I write while also holding down a full-time 36 hour a week job and homeschooling my six year old daughter, she is my ‘Why’.

Me and my ‘Why’

I must say that it’s a blessing having a highly imaginative child that understands her mommy is sometimes consumed with getting thoughts out of her head and onto the pages gracing the computer screen, she’s great at keeping herself entertained and keeping disruptions to a minimal. My child definitely dances to the beat of her own drum, much like her momma does. I wanted to create a book that embraced a child being different, peculiar even.

From page 12 of The Gift of Being Peculiar

Saving Children from an Ugly World

By teaching children, the gift of being different

I wanted to empower children to embrace their uniqueness and that of others. Far too often lately we are reading about the tragic loss of a young life to suicide as a result of bullying. I wanted to create a way to show children the power in being yourself.

They say children learn best by example, I want to show Jamiyah that you can make all of your dreams come true and look out for the well-being of others while doing it.

Micaiah Yhisraels’ latest and fourth self-published book, The Gift of Being Peculiar—illustrated by Dariea Shorter—is a creatively imaginative and powerfully innovative resource to empower children and help them embrace the gift of being different through affirming words and invigorating illustrations.

Author Micaiah Yhisrael and Illustrator Dariea Shorter

The Gift of Being Peculiar is the story of Kenza, a young girl who is not afraid to embrace her peculiarity. The main character reminds children of the wonderful characteristics and personality traits that make one wonderfully peculiar. It is a story that reaffirms self-love, being a leader, standing out from the crowd, and the treasure in embracing yourself.

Those wishing to enrich the lives of the children around them can purchase the book online from Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com. It is also available as an e-book via Kindle. Link to Amazon below.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1792302142/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_SUzICb34D65X4 via @amazon

For details on other books offered check out my websitehttps://myddreamer.com