Divine Conversations

Restless nights

the tired body

of an overworked mind

racing thoughts

subconscious longings

alone in bed

ideas take root in my head

clarity comes

revealing itself slowly

like a dawn breaking the horizon

when slumber is fleeting

I obtain the peace I seek

‘fore if I quiet my mind

and listen closely

I hear God speak

~micaiah

I Wish I didn’t Know

I wish I didn’t know…

that one day every living thing must one day go

back to the dust from which it came.

I wish I didn’t know…

that sometimes people don’t get healed

and pain unleashed reveals itself in an avalanche of tears.

I wish I didn’t know…

That cancer is a monster and not just a sign of the zodiac

it doesn’t respect persons old or young and runs you ragged and tortures you before it’s done.

I wish I didn’t know…

friendships don’t always last until you grow old

sometimes death severs it’s hold.

I wish I didn’t know…

Life will give you bitter with the sweet

and bad things sometimes happens to the good folks you meet.

I wish I didn’t know…

That grief can last forever, it’s coping mechanisms that change

When you lose someone you love,

life is never quite the same.

I wish I didn’t know.

~micaiah

Fool for Love

We’ve all been there and done that, played the fool that is. Left you wondering if you could have plead temporary insanity during that span of time.

Left you questioning yourself and your ability to pick a worthy mate. Nothing to beat yourself up for, every lesson is a blessing, even the ones you perceive as failed.

Past relationships teach us as much about ourselves as it does other people, well if we are honest with introspection it does. You have to honestly look inside to discover why you were attracted to people in your past.

Oftentimes, if we do not work through traumas or voids in our childhoods we wind up attracting those same type of people in our adolescence and adulthood. It is said you attract what you reflect. So if you want to attract better, reflect better. And yes, it can be that simple.

When you truly and thoroughly love yourself you will refuse to be in a relationship that does not mirror your self love and who does not reciprocate your effort.

You will learn to grow through what you go through and become better because of it. Heartbreak can be rough, but allow it to make you better not bitter.

Sometimes we have to lose in order to have room to gain. Keep pushing!

~micaiah

Changing Seasons

Her heart was warm and vibrant pumping a selfless type of love

It pumped until its chambers were depleted

a supply unreciprocated will dry up

and like the changing seasons

her personality changed too

unrequited love changed her confidence into insecurity

She couldn’t quite remember when she lost sight of herself

She’s pretty sure it happened when she was pouring so much into others

Somehow they gained vibrancy at her expense as she turned into a less vibrant copy of her former self

Somehow she started to internalize the outward inaction of another and took ownership of issues that didn’t start with her

and they allowed her to because she was to magnificent to behold in all her technicolor majestic-ness

But with her bathed in shades of grey they seemed so much more appealing than they actually were

So they attempted to lull her into accepting the fantasy as a reality

and for a while they were successful

they tied those rose colored glasses to her face with strings of lies, laden with whispers of sweet nothings and orgasmic soul ties

Emotions took control and logic took a back seat

And the color continued to be drained from her

until her insides were as black as a starless night

She lost her zeal and ultimately her appeal and the love leech went scouting for a new host

leaving her to fall freely

and for a while she lay there covered in blackness and feeling buried

until realizing during her fall those glasses and bindings were knocked loose

there was a light in the darkness

as she sprouted from the darkness

she realized she was never buried

she was planted

and as she grew into a new version of herself

her color returned

along with a fierce love of self

the season had changed and

so had she

this was her season

she was back and more vibrant than before

because she realized her moment of weakness and falling

did not define her

her ability

to get back up did.

~micaiah

How much do you love you?

A lot of us are great at being honest with everyone but ourselves. We will scream and shout how much we love ourselves and refuse to settle when it comes to how someone else may treat us, but we forget to demand that same level from ourselves.

If you truly love yourself, you’ll work towards being the best version of yourself in every aspect of your life: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially.

How much love do you have for yourself if you aren’t working to be the healthiest version of you that you can be? We psych ourselves into believing we have to be in love with our fat selves and our thick thighs, but if that isn’t the healthiest version of you, how is it love? You can be comfortable in who you are, and still recognize your need for improvement.

You tell yourself you can’t be with anyone that has nothing to bring to the table, when your table is being held up by one leg made of bills and debts you owe. Yeah, you have a nice career, but you owe out more than you make. By refusing to get a handle on your debt not only are you not showing love to yourself, but you’re not showing love to the children to whom you’ll leave your debts instead of an inheritance.

We have to be honest with ourselves and admit when we don’t love ourselves as much as we should.

Self-reflection is necessary in order for there to be growth.

Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself and your family in all areas of your life.

If you feel like the blessings aren’t coming, maybe it’s because you need to rid your life of the cluttered chaos in it.

Take inventory and then make a list of steps you can take to clean up the areas in your life that do not represent the love you have for yourself.

Take it one step at a time and don’t be afraid to ask for help in areas where you need it.

You are most definitely worth your best efforts.

Remember love is an action word and that applies even more-so when it refers to how you truly show love for you!

~Micaiahism

The Love She Needed

She contemplated all her endings

In an effort to facilitate a new beginning

She couldn’t place all the blame on them

When the endings looked so similar

yet

she was the only common denominator

The commonality of her attractions was a flaw in her character

In her need to fix others

She attracted unhealed mates that flocked to her to be healed

Only to take their healed selves elsewhere

Leaving the fixer wounded

Momentarily put off from healing another

She covered her heart in armor

Daring anyone to penetrate her self imposed fortress

She was punishing herself

Not realizing a heart locked up finds it hard to beat

Even for oneself

So she tore the wall away

Because she realized she deserved her own best efforts

Her heart was resilient and destined to thrive, to love and be loved

She changed the inconsistent and conflicted parts within herself

She reflected the love she was

And was content to love herself

until someone came along

and reflected back to her

the love she needed.

~Micaiah