Always Under Construction

Lately, my life has been looking like a lane on I-75/I-71 going through Cincinnati, constantly under construction. I am constantly trying to get things in “order” so that I can be my “best” self. And I have come to realize just like the never ending construction that I bemoan on the highways that pass through my city, the construction in my life is also never ending and that’s okay.

My life my never be ideal or perfect, but just like we navigate through and around orange barrels, detours and redirects; we must do the same in our lives. Because whether it’s a street map or life map, if you keep driving/pushing eventually you will make it to your final destination.

That journey may not look like anyone else’s and while it’s frustrating to witness others arrive before you, it can also be inspirational and motivational. Perspective is the ability to change your outlook by changing your attitude or view of the situation. Sometimes life defers our moments so that we can better appreciate them when they occur. Trust that delayed is truly not denied.

While navigating my own detours and redirects, I have come to the realization that if you do not work daily to motivate yourself, you won’t be motivated. Motivation takes daily work, time and commitment. It also takes the gumption to stop putting off hard tasks, whether those tasks be physiological or psychological in nature; you have to show up and do the work.

My biggest weakness or flaw that I am constantly working on is procrastination. I allow myself to become comfortable with the excuses that I have told myself are acceptable so as to assuage the guilt of my complacency. Yeah, we feed ourselves excuses instead of feeding ourselves motivation sometimes. Starve your distractions and feed your focus is a mindset I have yet to master, but I’m under construction right? While it’s true I may be a constant work in progress, I still need to see some small steps towards progress; which means committing myself to work on the things that keep me from progressing i.e. my procrastination.

Procrastination is a low key arrogance issue, because it tends to create a false sense of being guaranteed the time of tomorrow. We all know tomorrow isn’t promised, yet we will allow ourselves the comfort of complacency by stating we will do “it” tomorrow, whatever “it” is. We need to take the leap and do it today.

Do “it” scared, unprepared, under stress, with less than optimal finances. Just do it! We can’t be worried about the messiness of our construction in our lives. It may not be pretty, but if that mess leads to your ultimate progress than it’s more than worth it.

I have determined not to give up or give in. I can’t be the next New York Times Best Selling Author if I’m not writing. I can’t be my best self if I’m not working and taking those small steps towards progress. So, I’ll be content with the orange barrels and detours in and around my life and remind myself that as long as I stay moving, eventually I’ll get to where I want to go and you will too.

~micaiah

Your best life starts today!

Today, I want to impress upon you the importance of seizing the moment, stop waiting and make changes daily as you see the need for them. Time waits for no one and 2020 took many people with it whom died, what I feel was way too soon, some in the very beginning or prime of their lives. So be the change you want to see in your life.

Stop waiting to live your best life. Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today. Release your fears and tap into your inner courage. Stop being complacent with convenience and mediocrity in your personal and professional life.

Surround yourself with friends and people that challenge you, to be a better you. Friends should be as iron that sharpens iron and act as mirrors to show us our real and true selves. Because the only way to effectively change yourself for the better is to take an honest inventory of yourself and your characteristics and act accordingly.

Realize and accept, that not everyone will be able to make the journey towards self-improvement with you, nor or they meant to. There is a time and purpose for everything and person under the sun, acknowledge when something or someone has outstayed their purpose in your life, release them/it and move on towards vaster and brighter horizons.

Understand that change may not be comfortable, but beautiful things are often birthed through adversity and pain.

Understand that there are dream makers and dream and idea takers, know your circle and know that some moves are not to be broadcast, but are best made in silence, allowing your work or action to speak for itself.

Most of all, forgive yourself of your short comings, what’s done is done and is now in the past. You can’t change the past so resolve to make better, more logically sound choices from this point on. The shame is not in the falling down; it’s being comfortable in staying down.

Tomorrow is never promised so make the most of your Today!

~Micaiah

No discounts

Some people don’t truly want you, but they want to reserve their place in your life.

They see the value of your connections, even when they attempt to devalue your personal worth.

People will attempt to play with your mind, because it makes it easier to steer your heart.

That’s why you have to set your price and stand firm, and never allow someone with a low budget mentality bring down your self-worth.

micaiah

My own truth

Walking, no, more like stumbling through life
Vision blurred by all that’s occurred

Not staying on course has my dreams deferred
Allowed myself to lose focus
Due to foolishness and hocus pocus

Let comparison rob me of objectivity
had me forgetting about the blessings just for me

Doubt had me believing delayed had turned into denied
Had me trusting in worry and anxieties lies

Had to get regrounded and regroup
Had to familiarize myself again with my own truth

Had to remind myself of whose child I was
And that my gifts are truly a blessing from above

There is no timeframe or race
Just continue on and keep the pace

With renewed faith, my vision cleared
And once again I’m ready to tackle all I once feared.

~micaiah

Keep the faith

It’s easy to say you believe when things are great.

Faith is tested when you are.

It’s ok to feel weak, just don’t quit believing that you will make it through.

A whole lot of battles are lost because the mind gave up first and the body followed suit.

Don’t let that be you, tap into your strength(Faith).~Micaiah

Can you see what I see?

I do not need color blind friends, because if you claim not to see color then, do you really see me?

Do you see the inherent differences in the way people of color are treated? How we are asked to forget and get over our trauma while others are allowed to embrace theirs.

I need people who see the differences and fight to change those things which are wrong and unjust. If you are not a person of color you may never understand exactly what we are up against and that’s ok. Just be empathetic towards our fight and not silently complicit.

No one would have to shout Black Lives Matter if All Lives truly Mattered because we would be included in that number. But clearly, we are not included and that’s why we continue to make noise!

The government has shown us repeatedly a closed mouth don’t get fed. If we want change we have to demand it, asking nicely since 1619 has gotten us nothing but traumatized.

~micaiah

Pushed to the edge

Today my Healthcare corporation encouraged us to participate in an 8 minute and 46 second moment of silence in honor of Mr. George Floyd and in solidarity with White Coats for Black Lives Matter (WCBL). WCBL is “an organization that strives to dismantle racism in medicine and promote the health, well-being, and self-determination of the African American community.”

During those 8 minutes and 46 seconds I couldn’t help but to think of all the things that must have flashed through Mr. Floyd’s mind, while seemingly coming to the stark realization that the police was literally killing him. I can’t even fathom what he must have been feeling and the helplessness of being rendered breathless.

I kept having that video of him being murdered, because that’s what it was, play over in a loop in my head. And of how tired I am of explaining to my 7 year old daughter that another person of color has lost their life at the hands of someone who sees them as less than, all while attempting to instill into her that she is enough.

It’s exhausting.

Racism in America, like a festering wound and abhorrent disease, has been left untreated since the nation was birthed. It’s a sickness that effects the young, old and all in between.
How can we tout this as the best nation on earth when animals get more respect and protection than people of color?

When will I not have to say extra prayers for all my male friends and family members that their lives are not taken during a simple traffic stop or interaction with the police.

Yes, we try to teach our youth how to act to stay alive, but until people stop placing symbolic bullseyes on their heads and back, hunting season continues in spite of being compliant.

All lives matter, but until Black Lives Matter there will be no peace because there won’t be any justice for us. Understand this country was founded on the backs of the people that they no longer deem matter, how hypocritical is that?

There are too many disparities in healthcare, education and the justice system for people to feel comfortable sticking their head in the sand and pretending to be unaware of what takes place around them. We know you see it, you show us with your silence that until it effects you directly you don’t care.

If you aren’t helping resolve the problems you may as well be throwing fire on the flames. You care if people mistreat their dog, yet act confounded that people would feel so strongly against the mistreatment of a whole collective group of people.
Surely, not a nation that state in God they trust! Do you not understand the same God you say you trust, created us.

When will enough, be enough for you? It’s past time for me.✊🏽🖤

~micaiah

Misery loves company

Don’t let others project their misery onto you.

People that can not control you physically will attempt to manipulate you emotionally and mentally. Happiness is an inside job, don’t be fooled by outside forces.

No one can control the actions of others, but you are always in control of your reaction and response to them.

People will try to bury you in chaos, don’t suffer in the dirt, grow from it and flourish.

Sometimes the best response is silence and the best revenge is success by way of inner peace and happiness.

Misery loves company, so don’t answer the door if it comes knocking!

~micaiah

Fool for Love

We’ve all been there and done that, played the fool that is. Left you wondering if you could have plead temporary insanity during that span of time.

Left you questioning yourself and your ability to pick a worthy mate. Nothing to beat yourself up for, every lesson is a blessing, even the ones you perceive as failed.

Past relationships teach us as much about ourselves as it does other people, well if we are honest with introspection it does. You have to honestly look inside to discover why you were attracted to people in your past.

Oftentimes, if we do not work through traumas or voids in our childhoods we wind up attracting those same type of people in our adolescence and adulthood. It is said you attract what you reflect. So if you want to attract better, reflect better. And yes, it can be that simple.

When you truly and thoroughly love yourself you will refuse to be in a relationship that does not mirror your self love and who does not reciprocate your effort.

You will learn to grow through what you go through and become better because of it. Heartbreak can be rough, but allow it to make you better not bitter.

Sometimes we have to lose in order to have room to gain. Keep pushing!

~micaiah