Changing Seasons

Her heart was warm and vibrant pumping a selfless type of love

It pumped until its chambers were depleted

a supply unreciprocated will dry up

and like the changing seasons

her personality changed too

unrequited love changed her confidence into insecurity

She couldn’t quite remember when she lost sight of herself

She’s pretty sure it happened when she was pouring so much into others

Somehow they gained vibrancy at her expense as she turned into a less vibrant copy of her former self

Somehow she started to internalize the outward inaction of another and took ownership of issues that didn’t start with her

and they allowed her to because she was to magnificent to behold in all her technicolor majestic-ness

But with her bathed in shades of grey they seemed so much more appealing than they actually were

So they attempted to lull her into accepting the fantasy as a reality

and for a while they were successful

they tied those rose colored glasses to her face with strings of lies, laden with whispers of sweet nothings and orgasmic soul ties

Emotions took control and logic took a back seat

And the color continued to be drained from her

until her insides were as black as a starless night

She lost her zeal and ultimately her appeal and the love leech went scouting for a new host

leaving her to fall freely

and for a while she lay there covered in blackness and feeling buried

until realizing during her fall those glasses and bindings were knocked loose

there was a light in the darkness

as she sprouted from the darkness

she realized she was never buried

she was planted

and as she grew into a new version of herself

her color returned

along with a fierce love of self

the season had changed and

so had she

this was her season

she was back and more vibrant than before

because she realized her moment of weakness and falling

did not define her

her ability

to get back up did.

~micaiah

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The Love She Needed

She contemplated all her endings

In an effort to facilitate a new beginning

She couldn’t place all the blame on them

When the endings looked so similar

yet

she was the only common denominator

The commonality of her attractions was a flaw in her character

In her need to fix others

She attracted unhealed mates that flocked to her to be healed

Only to take their healed selves elsewhere

Leaving the fixer wounded

Momentarily put off from healing another

She covered her heart in armor

Daring anyone to penetrate her self imposed fortress

She was punishing herself

Not realizing a heart locked up finds it hard to beat

Even for oneself

So she tore the wall away

Because she realized she deserved her own best efforts

Her heart was resilient and destined to thrive, to love and be loved

She changed the inconsistent and conflicted parts within herself

She reflected the love she was

And was content to love herself

until someone came along

and reflected back to her

the love she needed.

~Micaiah

Soul-Ar Eclipse

I was afraid of my own electrifying power

So I eclipsed my light

I allowed life to live me

I didn’t trust myself to live life

Taking comfort in the solace that darkness brings

While pushing others into their self-fulfilled spotlights

The light that illuminates the flaws and glares blindingly

In the mirror of introspection

Helping others, while allowing my own dreams to be sacrificed in martyrdom

Providing artificial comfort opposed to the the prospect of failure

Until I looked into the brown eyes of an innocent soul

Created in my image

Peering up at me with the expectancy for the appearance of my greatness

Its what was whispered into that young soul from her conception

Bouncing off the walls of the womb in a staccato symphony of what would be

So in the face of such innocent revelry

The nondescript camouflage of complacency

Had to be replaced

With an outfit of Divine Design

Reminding the sleeping Goddess within

That light sprang forth from the Darkness

Its a moral sin to hold such greatness in

Shine on!!!

~Micaiah

It takes a Fool to Learn

I speak from the perspective of a woman, after all that is what I am.

Sometimes as women we accept preconceived notions and we convince ourselves that these notions work for us. For example, men who habitually cheat, (please note there is a difference between a man who sneaks, lies and deals treacherously then one whom expresses in truthfulness that he is not interested in being with just one woman), just because the truth may hurt, doesn’t make it less true. Anyway, some women accept that lying cheat as the evidence that all men cheat and in turn she should get used to being treated as less deserving.

These same women put up with the lies and disrespect because she figures she had better stick with what she knows, rather than to risk the unknown. They think it’ll be the same thing,  with a different man; never understanding that lack of boundaries helped create this lack of respect. You can’t accept people’s garbage and then wonder why they treat you like trash. It’s like having Stockholm Syndrome and loving and having empathy for your abuser, because whether you recognize it as such, placing yourself in a situation to be degraded through treachery and lies is emotional and mental abuse, which leads to feelings of worthlessness and lowered esteem.

What you allow is what will continue. You have to command respect and if those demands aren’t met you have to love yourself enough to walk away from any situation that culminates in you being treated less than the treasure you are.

Women please don’t look at being alone as being lonely, use that time to define and refine You. Treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Learn the beauty and peace in self-love and self-respect, learn the soul fulfilling joy of peace of mind.

Do not allow someone else to become so important to you that you lose yourself and lose your dignity.

Forgive yourself for lapses in judgments and bad decisions and choices, as you know better, be determined to do better and you can’t safely move forward if you’re stuck looking backwards.

A Queen doesn’t stop being royalty just because there is no King by her side. So clothe yourself in love and crown yourself in self-worth and don’t allow anyone to treat you as less than Regal woman that you are.

 ~Everyone at some time or another has played the fool for love, the trick is in not being comfortable remaining one!

~micaiah