Category: blogs

Adrift and bereft

I haven’t written in a while. I was transitioning in my feelings from numb to grieving, once again death called a friend home and left me feeling adrift and bereft. Untethered just floating in a sea of feelings and unleashed emotions

Death is hard, but unexpected death, one not a result of some chronic or terminal illness is even harder; especially when it’s a best friend. A confidante and kindred spirit, someone that you laughingly joked about growing old with. It was surreal seeing her lifeless and so still. She had always been so lively and full of life. Her Aura would bring light to any room, but death robbed the world of her presence.

I’m a spiritual being so I know all souls belong to the Creator and are only on a short loan to those of us that live in this earthly world. Even knowing and understanding her latter end doesn’t make the pain any less intense.

Witnessing another mother bury her child is something I dread each and every time, because by nature I’m an empath and I feel things deeply and knowing I can do nothing to repair the hole left is gut wrenching. Of course I can offer help and sympathy but those things don’t touch that feeling that resides deep in one’s soul when they suffer the loss of someone close to them. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like for a mother to lose the very person that grew inside her womb.

The older I get it seems the more prayers and condolences I extend, and yet the world keeps turning and days continue into night. And although death changes the world of those effected, the rest of the world goes on. And although at times you wish you could curl up in a ball and just forget about everything and everyone else, you can’t, because you still have life within you.

And because you inherently know you have a responsibility to keep the memory and love of the deceased alive. So you surf the waves of your grief, you allow yourself to feel, but you fight to keep your head above water because you don’t want to purposely hasten your own demise and be the cause of someone’s else’s grief.

The circle of life keeps turning much like the earth. We latch on to friends and family and every golden memory we can in an effort to establish a new normal.

That’s where I find myself, trying to find my new normal, without one of my best friend’s advice and input, one without her notes left in my library books on the hold shelf. A life that is without her text messages full of inside jokes and one that is without her book nerd humor and shared favorite authors and titles. One without her voice and knowing they’ll be no new songs sung it’s all still so hard to comprehend.

But I know she would push me forward and want me to accomplish all the goals and dreams we had discussed. She’d want to see me smile and laugh and enjoy life fully. So some way somehow I will, because to keep a smile on my face and joy in my heart may just be one of the best ways to remember her.

Missing you and loving you forever my friend

In Loving Memory of Hilakiyah Yisrael 3/10/1970-5/5/2019

~Micaiah

Reflections of You

Take care of you; it’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

Despite your best efforts to always be the generous, caring, kind hearted, help everyone else out type of person.

It’s easy to become bitter after life continuously throws you lemons.

and

It’s much harder to be the bigger person in an argument, especially when it’s a clear matter of right versus wrong.

It’s easier to give in to the desires of the flesh even though you know it’s not truly worth the time and effort but sometimes the lure of instant gratification seems to look so much more tantalizing than years of a strict commitment and steadfast resolve.

But peace of mind and the ability to sleep with a clear conscience is priceless.

Energy is transferable and you have to watch the company you keep and the thoughts you keep as well.

Your thoughts have the ability to drive your actions, even subconsciously.

That’s why it’s vital to spend time in reflective thought and meditation.

To help ground and recenter yourself when life attempts to knock you off your axis

You have to find your center, your grounding force that keeps you tethered on the path towards success and fulfillment.

But more importantly tethered to the path towards happiness, inner peace and joy.

Far too often, we allow the actions or inaction of others to alter our emotions.

Good people get tired of not having their efforts reciprocated, but we can’t allow outside forces to change our inside core.

We have to take time for self-care, to recharge and replenish.

Ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness and for protecting your peace of mind.

Take the time to show yourself loving care, practice daily affirming words or phrases.

Become comfortable saying no to people and situations that are a threat to your energy and or your happiness or peace of mind and do not allow guilt to creep in.

Self-preservation is a necessary part in maintaining your mental health.

Understand your own limits and triggers and don’t be afraid to express yourself and what you need.

You may love or interact with innumerable people over the course of your life, but the person that matters the most is the one you face in the mirror.

Take care of the person you see reflected there.

You matter!

~ Micaiah

Whose toes are those?

Many of us have heard the saying, “Be careful, the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.” How many of us have taken the time to ponder the meaning of this saying? Let me say, not many. So many people are concerned with getting ahead than they are about integrity and honor.

Some people will sell their soul for a chance at success, forgetting those that held them down when the going was rough. Throwing people under the bus all for the chance of going nowhere fast. Stealing concepts and connections, reworking other people’s ideas to aid in their deception.

There is no honor amongst thieves, dream snatchers definitely apply. Dream snatchers are those people dressed up like friends, but plotting like enemies, also known as frenemies. Those people that enter your circle intending to grab and go, grab your ideas, and go make a name for themselves. We’ve all experienced this on some level.

Whether it’s the co-worker taking all the credit for your idea or a friend that runs off with your dream and attempts to make it their own, the hurt and betrayal feel the same. Those types of people rarely prosper in the long run because they don’t have the mental acumen needed for staying power. And the truth is even if someone takes the premise of your idea, they can’t take what is meant for you. Someone can’t fully birth a vision in all its magnificent glory if the vision was not given to them.

Sometimes the true blessing is in the lesson. It’s in teaching us who to entrust with our secrets and about speaking up for ourselves. Asserting our worth and claiming our work. Taking the steps to protect yourself:

  1. If you have a business idea, stop talking about and be about it.
  2. If you want to share ideas, have them sign a confidentiality clause.
  3. Trademark your brand and your personalized sayings before sharing them.
  4. Keep your circle small.
  5. Network with others with established businesses.

Stop looking to others for validation and affirmation to follow your dreams. Know that it’s ok to ask for support and prayers and be vague why they are needed, some people don’t need full disclosure because they don’t want it to be helpful, they want to be nosey. In fact, the most genuine of people are praying for you before you ever even ask.

Ideas are often like outfits; they look different on other people. Just because someone takes your idea doesn’t mean they will present it like you. They may not have the contacts you have, the drive you have, the spirit you have or the blessings you have. What is meant for you will be FOR YOU!

Tell those toe crushers you’re rocking steel-toed boots, so they must come better than that!~ Micaiah

The Race is not Given to the Swift

In today’s age of millennials and entrepreneurship, those of us over 40 and just coming into our own may feel a little bereft. These young people sure do seem to have themselves together and have an outlook on getting ahead and working for themselves while creating multiple streams of income.

It may appear that they have reached their summit before you did and that has you feeling a bit slighted. Don’t be. The environment is ever shifting focus, for those of us in our 40’s and above the focus was always on obtaining a trade or college education, the thought of working for oneself was just not something most of our parents heard of or were comfortable promoting. Instead, most were encouraged to find a job/career and stay there forever. 

As times changed so did perspective and people are beginning to see that sometimes college education can give you an advantage over the next candidate and sometimes a degree can just get you in debt. Therefore, people are pushing the idea of business ownership and branding, versus working for someone else, supporting and financing of one’s own dreams instead of just building others.

It takes courage to break out of a mold and to try something new and different. So it is worthy of applause for those individuals that after years of working a job as instructed by dear old mom and dad, have decided to revisit their dreams, passion and or purpose and pursue them. Being older, hopefully, means wiser as well, and more in tune to what truly drives our happiness and what we need in order to live fulfilled lives.

I think these “well-seasoned” entrepreneurs have a lot of knowledge as it pertains to life skills that are beneficial when promoting one’s business and brand. People are teaching themselves and other new tricks, dispelling that “old dog myth”.  It is never too late to reinvent oneself.  All you need is the drive, determination, and motivation to change your mindset and ultimately your life.

Don’t allow anyone or any circumstance to place you in a box. Remember and repeat to yourself daily, if necessary, that the only thing standing in your way is you. Empowerment starts with self. Believe in your own self-worth and envision yourself successful. No matter the age we are all humans attempting to live out our best life. Collaborate and learn from one another, old and young working together collectively ideas and experience abound. 

There is a saying that states, the race is not given to the swift, but to those that endure to the end. So keep pushing and don’t quit. I believe with you!

~Micaiah 

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