Brokenness

In life we encounter people that cannot begin to love/respect you as a friend, mate, and sibling or even as a coworker, because of the brokenness of their own spirit and self-esteem. And we as humans think that it is our duty, especially if we say we love/care for someone, to attempt to fix them even at the risk of our own well-being. Love can be a tricky thing, because it can have you ignore logic and pay attention solely to emotions which can be hazardous to one’s health. When someone for whatever reason is so broken that they cannot love and respect themselves by making healthy and emotionally sound decisions, it will be impossible for them to be involved in a healthy, loving, respectful relationship.

People cannot give to others what they cannot give to themselves.

You cannot love people whole. What you can do is love them enough to encourage them to love and tend to themselves. You can be supportive without being an enabler and motivate them to care enough for themselves to want better, to want to be whole.

Thinking solely with our heart we will fool ourselves into believing that if we accept the brokenness, if we just stand beside them long enough, we can will them into changing. Let me tell you that if a glass falls and breaks, if you are in the vicinity you will get cut as it shatters. Those cuts may not be physical, they may come in the form of mental and emotional exhaustion. Broken people cannot make deposits into you, they only make withdrawals, and it is but one symptom of their brokenness.

That is why you have to put limits on your involvement, pray for them, but let them know you are not OK being in an unevenly yoked relationship and yes, the relationship can be a friendship, work relationship etc.  People need to understand that their brokenness affects others and it’s not OK to stay broken and expect the people around you to make concessions forever.

Tough love can be a wonderful thing and acting as a mirror to a person that cannot see themselves is even more wonderful.

Peace cannot live in the place where chaos dwells. So free yourself from the broken relationship. Pray for them and encourage them to fix themselves.

Most of all be sure to protect and love yourself enough to love them from a safe distance.~micaiah

Soul-Ar Eclipse

I was afraid of my own electrifying power

So I eclipsed my light

I allowed life to live me

I didn’t trust myself to live life

Taking comfort in the solace that darkness brings

While pushing others into their self-fulfilled spotlights

The light that illuminates the flaws and glares blindingly

In the mirror of introspection

Helping others, while allowing my own dreams to be sacrificed in martyrdom

Providing artificial comfort opposed to the the prospect of failure

Until I looked into the brown eyes of an innocent soul

Created in my image

Peering up at me with the expectancy for the appearance of my greatness

Its what was whispered into that young soul from her conception

Bouncing off the walls of the womb in a staccato symphony of what would be

So in the face of such innocent revelry

The nondescript camouflage of complacency

Had to be replaced

With an outfit of Divine Design

Reminding the sleeping Goddess within

That light sprang forth from the Darkness

Its a moral sin to hold such greatness in

Shine on!!!

~Micaiah

It takes a Fool to Learn

I speak from the perspective of a woman, after all that is what I am.

Sometimes as women we accept preconceived notions and we convince ourselves that these notions work for us. For example, men who habitually cheat, (please note there is a difference between a man who sneaks, lies and deals treacherously then one whom expresses in truthfulness that he is not interested in being with just one woman), just because the truth may hurt, doesn’t make it less true. Anyway, some women accept that lying cheat as the evidence that all men cheat and in turn she should get used to being treated as less deserving.

These same women put up with the lies and disrespect because she figures she had better stick with what she knows, rather than to risk the unknown. They think it’ll be the same thing,  with a different man; never understanding that lack of boundaries helped create this lack of respect. You can’t accept people’s garbage and then wonder why they treat you like trash. It’s like having Stockholm Syndrome and loving and having empathy for your abuser, because whether you recognize it as such, placing yourself in a situation to be degraded through treachery and lies is emotional and mental abuse, which leads to feelings of worthlessness and lowered esteem.

What you allow is what will continue. You have to command respect and if those demands aren’t met you have to love yourself enough to walk away from any situation that culminates in you being treated less than the treasure you are.

Women please don’t look at being alone as being lonely, use that time to define and refine You. Treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Learn the beauty and peace in self-love and self-respect, learn the soul fulfilling joy of peace of mind.

Do not allow someone else to become so important to you that you lose yourself and lose your dignity.

Forgive yourself for lapses in judgments and bad decisions and choices, as you know better, be determined to do better and you can’t safely move forward if you’re stuck looking backwards.

A Queen doesn’t stop being royalty just because there is no King by her side. So clothe yourself in love and crown yourself in self-worth and don’t allow anyone to treat you as less than Regal woman that you are.

 ~Everyone at some time or another has played the fool for love, the trick is in not being comfortable remaining one!

~micaiah