In every family or relationship, whether personal or professional, there’s always the ONE. The go-to person, the dependable, responsible one who gets the job done and makes things happen. This is the person everyone turns to when times get tough, the Strong ONE who shoulders all burdens and still comes out on top. People cast their troubles upon the most capable shoulders, and the ONE dutifully exceeds all expectations.
However, it’s important to remember that even the Strong ONE has their own issues and problems to deal with. Even strong, responsible people need shoulders to lean on from time to time. The ONE needs time to decompress and just be with themselves, but they often don’t take the time, feeling it is their duty to fix all the problems around them. Even Superman knew to take time out and be just regular old Clark Kent.
Being the ONE can be both a blessing and a curse, especially for those who haven’t learned the difference between wanting to say no and needing to say no. Being the natural fixer without defined boundaries can leave you overdrawn and depleted, with no way to refill your own cup. In our zeal to help others, we must ensure we are not robbing ourselves.
You do a disservice to others when helping them becomes burdensome to your spirit and starts to weigh you down. Saying no is not about withholding assistance; it’s often about self-preservation and recognizing that to say yes is to give away the very essence of yourself, leaving nothing left.
Do not feel guilty for setting limits and taking the time to remove the cape. Be gentle with yourself, even the broadest shoulders can break under unevenly distributed weight. Help others understand that you are not the only one capable of handling situations or tasks. Often, you are just the easier or more cooperative choice.
Instead of taking on others’ causes, suggest ways they can handle the matter themselves. Help to enable them, not be an enabler. As the saying goes, give a man a fish, and he eats for a day; teach him to fish, and he can feed himself for a lifetime.
Remember, it’s hard to move while carrying the weight of others. Free yourself, and at the same time, free them from always having to depend on you.~micaiah
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“The strength of a person is not measured by their ability to carry the weight of the world, but by their ability to lift others up while standing tall themselves.” ~anonymous
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