Kisses like Wishes

Kisses like wishes

That make dreams come true

Drawing smiley faces on papers

Lost in thoughts of you

I see traces of you and I expressed

Vicariously through watching the love of others

As I wonder how many more minutes

Before we are entrenched in the heat

And scent of one another

I wear the essence of you like perfume

It’s the sweetest of smells to me

It’s an unspoken testament of

your promise to be there for me

As you split my thighs like the Red Sea

Performed miracles to win my heart from me

Our bodies touched and souls knew

That there would never be another who’d do

The things that we do to one another

Too holy to be voodoo

Yet unholy enough to make us blush at the memories

Of just how open we are for one another

You breathed life in me and I exhaled the stress out of you

As we created a mystic language entangled in arms and legs

Exchanging energies

We don’t lose

it’s a reciprocal cycle of charging you

and you in turn recharging me

Kisses like wishes

Forever lost in thoughts of you.

~Micaiah

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Adrift and bereft

I haven’t written in a while. I was transitioning in my feelings from numb to grieving, once again death called a friend home and left me feeling adrift and bereft. Untethered just floating in a sea of feelings and unleashed emotions

Death is hard, but unexpected death, one not a result of some chronic or terminal illness is even harder; especially when it’s a best friend. A confidante and kindred spirit, someone that you laughingly joked about growing old with. It was surreal seeing her lifeless and so still. She had always been so lively and full of life. Her Aura would bring light to any room, but death robbed the world of her presence.

I’m a spiritual being so I know all souls belong to the Creator and are only on a short loan to those of us that live in this earthly world. Even knowing and understanding her latter end doesn’t make the pain any less intense.

Witnessing another mother bury her child is something I dread each and every time, because by nature I’m an empath and I feel things deeply and knowing I can do nothing to repair the hole left is gut wrenching. Of course I can offer help and sympathy but those things don’t touch that feeling that resides deep in one’s soul when they suffer the loss of someone close to them. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like for a mother to lose the very person that grew inside her womb.

The older I get it seems the more prayers and condolences I extend, and yet the world keeps turning and days continue into night. And although death changes the world of those effected, the rest of the world goes on. And although at times you wish you could curl up in a ball and just forget about everything and everyone else, you can’t, because you still have life within you.

And because you inherently know you have a responsibility to keep the memory and love of the deceased alive. So you surf the waves of your grief, you allow yourself to feel, but you fight to keep your head above water because you don’t want to purposely hasten your own demise and be the cause of someone’s else’s grief.

The circle of life keeps turning much like the earth. We latch on to friends and family and every golden memory we can in an effort to establish a new normal.

That’s where I find myself, trying to find my new normal, without one of my best friend’s advice and input, one without her notes left in my library books on the hold shelf. A life that is without her text messages full of inside jokes and one that is without her book nerd humor and shared favorite authors and titles. One without her voice and knowing they’ll be no new songs sung it’s all still so hard to comprehend.

But I know she would push me forward and want me to accomplish all the goals and dreams we had discussed. She’d want to see me smile and laugh and enjoy life fully. So some way somehow I will, because to keep a smile on my face and joy in my heart may just be one of the best ways to remember her.

Missing you and loving you forever my friend

In Loving Memory of Hilakiyah Yisrael 3/10/1970-5/5/2019

~Micaiah

The Love She Needed

She contemplated all her endings

In an effort to facilitate a new beginning

She couldn’t place all the blame on them

When the endings looked so similar

yet

she was the only common denominator

The commonality of her attractions was a flaw in her character

In her need to fix others

She attracted unhealed mates that flocked to her to be healed

Only to take their healed selves elsewhere

Leaving the fixer wounded

Momentarily put off from healing another

She covered her heart in armor

Daring anyone to penetrate her self imposed fortress

She was punishing herself

Not realizing a heart locked up finds it hard to beat

Even for oneself

So she tore the wall away

Because she realized she deserved her own best efforts

Her heart was resilient and destined to thrive, to love and be loved

She changed the inconsistent and conflicted parts within herself

She reflected the love she was

And was content to love herself

until someone came along

and reflected back to her

the love she needed.

~Micaiah

End to begin again

What happens when you are lovers and friends

When the loveship must come to an abrupt end

Sometimes you never get to expound on the relationship

due to extraneous life induced situationships

It’s so hard to remove a true love from your head and heart

When that’s where all the loving memories start

When you’ve been in each other lives so long there is a connection

and intertwining of families

Soul connections made when in each others hearts and arms we laid

But life brings about change and to the heart change isn’t always fair

And so away from one another we must now tear

Ourselves

in order to build upon foundations laid with others

and pray that one day we can love someone else

with the same soulful passion with which we loved one another.

~micaiah

In Sync

Forehead kisses to her third eye

Allowing her more opportunities to say thank you

Than you’re welcome

Understanding her desire to have help

Not because she can’t do it alone

But because you recognize the fact she shouldn’t have to

Allowing her to be vulnerable

Without feeling weak or preyed upon

Respecting her intelligence

And praising her resilience

Recognizing the hard exterior is part of her adapting to life without a mate

Understanding your strength and patience is a catalyst to her shedding that outer layer

Knowing how to stimulate her mind and evoke orgasms without ever touching her body

Speaking to her soul so that she knows

You’re the missing piece

To synchronize the rhythm of her heart beat.

~micaiah

Next lifetime

You ever had someone speak to your very soul,

they looked into your eyes and your very thoughts they’d know?  


With just a mention of their name they send your heart a flutter,


and they make you feel inspired but  at the same time so nervous you stutter?


Someone who stimulates your mind,
taking intelligent and sexy to a whole different level and time,


but the sad part about it, it’s not the right time


For me to be yours and for you to be mine


and inherently you know
No matter how perfectly the stars seemed to align


you have to put off this soul connection
until the next lifetime.

~micaiah

Love Missed

I haven’t written a poem in a while. I was just laying in bed listening to rain drops and this came pouring out.

Guess the rain did its job.

Check it out

I miss the potential of you that I conjured up in all my imaginings

When I saw what you could be, if only you were brave enough to grow and evolve from who you were

When I inhaled the scent of you and basked in the warmth of your embrace

I miss your lips implanting the sweetest of nothing’s as you kissed my 3rd eye and opened me up too receive all that was good, special and magical about you

I miss the heat that blushing brings to my face and the moist desire gathering between my thighs as I remember the sensual details you whispered of all the things you’d like to do to me

I miss the encouragement and support that your friendship brings

A pillar of protection from life’s storms and pain

I miss the perfect representation of Love we could represent by being our imperfectly authentic selves

I miss the security of knowing my heart could rest safely in your hands and you’d cherish it like the most precious of gifts

I miss ignorance being bliss and not knowing the emptiness of love missed.

~micaiah