What I Won’t Do

I don’t need anyone to complete me I’m already whole

I’ve been figured out I’m enough, since I’ve been surviving and thriving in a world so tough

although I may not need you financially

I want you mentally, physically and emotionally

I refuse to dumb myself down just to feed your ego or support your waning masculinity

I can be a source of strength and help mate if you let me be

But first you have to see me as more than just a wet and warm good time

How about you stop ogling my breast and concentrate on my mind

Keep your sweet nothings, I feed off honesty

Please tell me no lies

You say you want someone more needy and softer

Yet you walked all over the last one like that and her self-esteem it cost her

We need to get back that complete and deep love of self

so we’ll be able to recognize and expect that same type of effort from someone else

Let’s get back to respecting and praying for one another

Instead of playing and preying with the hearts of one another

We need one another to survive

But we have to make sure we can offer more than what’s in our pockets or in between our thighs

because time is short and my patience is too

So playing myself by accepting less is something I just won’t do.

-micaiah

The Love She Needed

She contemplated all her endings

In an effort to facilitate a new beginning

She couldn’t place all the blame on them

When the endings looked so similar

yet

she was the only common denominator

The commonality of her attractions was a flaw in her character

In her need to fix others

She attracted unhealed mates that flocked to her to be healed

Only to take their healed selves elsewhere

Leaving the fixer wounded

Momentarily put off from healing another

She covered her heart in armor

Daring anyone to penetrate her self imposed fortress

She was punishing herself

Not realizing a heart locked up finds it hard to beat

Even for oneself

So she tore the wall away

Because she realized she deserved her own best efforts

Her heart was resilient and destined to thrive, to love and be loved

She changed the inconsistent and conflicted parts within herself

She reflected the love she was

And was content to love herself

until someone came along

and reflected back to her

the love she needed.

~Micaiah

Love is

“What love looks and feels like changes with the evolution of your mental state. With maturity and growth, there will come a time that you look back at your past failed relationships and become thankful that the Almighty interceded before they could make it into your future.” ~ Micaiahism

We’ve all heard or even experienced the fact that at time love hurts. Well, it’s not entirely accurate, love didn’t do a thing, it was the person we attached the feelings of love to that caused the pain. Whether it was a pain derived from family, friend or from an intimate partner it changes you. Some people carry the pain or trauma with them for a life time, it becomes baggage from unhealed wounds, a relationship hazard.

We must learn to look at endings and not only see or feel the hurt and devastation, but also see the blessing in the lesson. People cannot love others if they are not first taught the importance of loving themselves. Parents are people first and foremost, with that said, if a person is not taught how to be caring and selfless it is not inherent to all. Self-love is critical for building the foundation upon which any relationship will stand. Without it, people are left to the whims of being driven by the emotions, reactions and thoughts of others. When we do not first love ourselves, we erroneously believe that are happiness is ultimately tied to others.

When you are blessed to evolve in your thinking and become enlightened to the fact that happiness is a choice and an inside job, it gives you the power back that once was placed in the hands of others. Happiness is relative to the person that chooses to embrace it. That does not mean the person won’t experience sad times, but it does mean they understand that there is balance in everything and that a sad time does not have to equate to overwhelming or depressed emotions. The same is true of self-love, once you understand that you must look past and forgive yourself for your flaws and or imperfections, past mistakes and negative self-talk, then you are able to love yourself unconditionally.

We must learn to leave baggage where it is if its weight hinders us from moving forward. Stop assuming you need to unpack it, sometimes you just need to throw it all away, it’s just a reminder of what didn’t fit or what didn’t work. You don’t need the reminder if it only works to keep you stagnant and wallowing in the feeling of defeat or inadequacy. Throwing away that baggage may entail you getting therapy to talk through the hurt, journaling, meditation, spiritual cleansing, prayer, fasting or a multitude if other methods, whatever it takes do it. You will always be worth your best efforts.

Love looks different as you mature and evolve, sometimes love looks like peace of mind and time spent communing with yourself. You must determine what love looks and feels like and once you do, don’t settle for anything less.

~micaiah

Soul-Ar Eclipse

I was afraid of my own electrifying power

So I eclipsed my light

I allowed life to live me

I didn’t trust myself to live life

Taking comfort in the solace that darkness brings

While pushing others into their self-fulfilled spotlights

The light that illuminates the flaws and glares blindingly

In the mirror of introspection

Helping others, while allowing my own dreams to be sacrificed in martyrdom

Providing artificial comfort opposed to the the prospect of failure

Until I looked into the brown eyes of an innocent soul

Created in my image

Peering up at me with the expectancy for the appearance of my greatness

Its what was whispered into that young soul from her conception

Bouncing off the walls of the womb in a staccato symphony of what would be

So in the face of such innocent revelry

The nondescript camouflage of complacency

Had to be replaced

With an outfit of Divine Design

Reminding the sleeping Goddess within

That light sprang forth from the Darkness

Its a moral sin to hold such greatness in

Shine on!!!

~Micaiah

It takes a Fool to Learn

I speak from the perspective of a woman, after all that is what I am.

Sometimes as women we accept preconceived notions and we convince ourselves that these notions work for us. For example, men who habitually cheat, (please note there is a difference between a man who sneaks, lies and deals treacherously then one whom expresses in truthfulness that he is not interested in being with just one woman), just because the truth may hurt, doesn’t make it less true. Anyway, some women accept that lying cheat as the evidence that all men cheat and in turn she should get used to being treated as less deserving.

These same women put up with the lies and disrespect because she figures she had better stick with what she knows, rather than to risk the unknown. They think it’ll be the same thing,  with a different man; never understanding that lack of boundaries helped create this lack of respect. You can’t accept people’s garbage and then wonder why they treat you like trash. It’s like having Stockholm Syndrome and loving and having empathy for your abuser, because whether you recognize it as such, placing yourself in a situation to be degraded through treachery and lies is emotional and mental abuse, which leads to feelings of worthlessness and lowered esteem.

What you allow is what will continue. You have to command respect and if those demands aren’t met you have to love yourself enough to walk away from any situation that culminates in you being treated less than the treasure you are.

Women please don’t look at being alone as being lonely, use that time to define and refine You. Treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Learn the beauty and peace in self-love and self-respect, learn the soul fulfilling joy of peace of mind.

Do not allow someone else to become so important to you that you lose yourself and lose your dignity.

Forgive yourself for lapses in judgments and bad decisions and choices, as you know better, be determined to do better and you can’t safely move forward if you’re stuck looking backwards.

A Queen doesn’t stop being royalty just because there is no King by her side. So clothe yourself in love and crown yourself in self-worth and don’t allow anyone to treat you as less than Regal woman that you are.

 ~Everyone at some time or another has played the fool for love, the trick is in not being comfortable remaining one!

~micaiah