Tag: self love
Her heart was warm and vibrant pumping a selfless type of love
It pumped until its chambers were depleted
a supply unreciprocated will dry up
and like the changing seasons
her personality changed too
unrequited love changed her confidence into insecurity
She couldn’t quite remember when she lost sight of herself
She’s pretty sure it happened when she was pouring so much into others
Somehow they gained vibrancy at her expense as she turned into a less vibrant copy of her former self
Somehow she started to internalize the outward inaction of another and took ownership of issues that didn’t start with her
and they allowed her to because she was to magnificent to behold in all her technicolor majestic-ness
But with her bathed in shades of grey they seemed so much more appealing than they actually were
So they attempted to lull her into accepting the fantasy as a reality
and for a while they were successful
they tied those rose colored glasses to her face with strings of lies, laden with whispers of sweet nothings and orgasmic soul ties
Emotions took control and logic took a back seat
And the color continued to be drained from her
until her insides were as black as a starless night
She lost her zeal and ultimately her appeal and the love leech went scouting for a new host
leaving her to fall freely
and for a while she lay there covered in blackness and feeling buried
until realizing during her fall those glasses and bindings were knocked loose
there was a light in the darkness
as she sprouted from the darkness
she realized she was never buried
she was planted
and as she grew into a new version of herself
her color returned
along with a fierce love of self
the season had changed and
so had she
this was her season
she was back and more vibrant than before
because she realized her moment of weakness and falling
did not define her
to get back up did.
A love more deserving
She loved him past his faults
And despite his flaws.
She loved him when his words
didn’t match his actions.
She loved his potential,
her vision of how great he could be.
She loved him
she realized her love
couldn’t change him
no, only he could do that.
And while she loved him,
through the hurt and disappointment,
she grew and evolved
to the point she recognized
it was time to let go
and love herself more
than she loved him.
And when she let go,
she allowed herself
to be blessed
with a love more deserving.
How much do you love you?
A lot of us are great at being honest with everyone but ourselves. We will scream and shout how much we love ourselves and refuse to settle when it comes to how someone else may treat us, but we forget to demand that same level from ourselves.
If you truly love yourself, you’ll work towards being the best version of yourself in every aspect of your life: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially.
How much love do you have for yourself if you aren’t working to be the healthiest version of you that you can be? We psych ourselves into believing we have to be in love with our fat selves and our thick thighs, but if that isn’t the healthiest version of you, how is it love? You can be comfortable in who you are, and still recognize your need for improvement.
You tell yourself you can’t be with anyone that has nothing to bring to the table, when your table is being held up by one leg made of bills and debts you owe. Yeah, you have a nice career, but you owe out more than you make. By refusing to get a handle on your debt not only are you not showing love to yourself, but you’re not showing love to the children to whom you’ll leave your debts instead of an inheritance.
We have to be honest with ourselves and admit when we don’t love ourselves as much as we should.
Self-reflection is necessary in order for there to be growth.
Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself and your family in all areas of your life.
If you feel like the blessings aren’t coming, maybe it’s because you need to rid your life of the cluttered chaos in it.
Take inventory and then make a list of steps you can take to clean up the areas in your life that do not represent the love you have for yourself.
Take it one step at a time and don’t be afraid to ask for help in areas where you need it.
You are most definitely worth your best efforts.
Remember love is an action word and that applies even more-so when it refers to how you truly show love for you!
What I Won’t Do
I don’t need anyone to complete me I’m already whole
I’ve been figured out I’m enough, since I’ve been surviving and thriving in a world so tough
although I may not need you financially
I want you mentally, physically and emotionally
I refuse to dumb myself down just to feed your ego or support your waning masculinity
I can be a source of strength and help mate if you let me be
But first you have to see me as more than just a wet and warm good time
How about you stop ogling my breast and concentrate on my mind
Keep your sweet nothings, I feed off honesty
Please tell me no lies
You say you want someone more needy and softer
Yet you walked all over the last one like that and her self-esteem it cost her
We need to get back that complete and deep love of self
so we’ll be able to recognize and expect that same type of effort from someone else
Let’s get back to respecting and praying for one another
Instead of playing and preying with the hearts of one another
We need one another to survive
But we have to make sure we can offer more than what’s in our pockets or in between our thighs
because time is short and my patience is too
So playing myself by accepting less is something I just won’t do.
The Love She Needed
She contemplated all her endings
In an effort to facilitate a new beginning
She couldn’t place all the blame on them
When the endings looked so similar
she was the only common denominator
The commonality of her attractions was a flaw in her character
In her need to fix others
She attracted unhealed mates that flocked to her to be healed
Only to take their healed selves elsewhere
Leaving the fixer wounded
Momentarily put off from healing another
She covered her heart in armor
Daring anyone to penetrate her self imposed fortress
She was punishing herself
Not realizing a heart locked up finds it hard to beat
Even for oneself
So she tore the wall away
Because she realized she deserved her own best efforts
Her heart was resilient and destined to thrive, to love and be loved
She changed the inconsistent and conflicted parts within herself
She reflected the love she was
And was content to love herself
until someone came along
and reflected back to her
the love she needed.
“What love looks and feels like changes with the evolution of your mental state. With maturity and growth, there will come a time that you look back at your past failed relationships and become thankful that the Almighty interceded before they could make it into your future.” ~ Micaiahism
We’ve all heard or even experienced the fact that at time love hurts. Well, it’s not entirely accurate, love didn’t do a thing, it was the person we attached the feelings of love to that caused the pain. Whether it was a pain derived from family, friend or from an intimate partner it changes you. Some people carry the pain or trauma with them for a life time, it becomes baggage from unhealed wounds, a relationship hazard.
We must learn to look at endings and not only see or feel the hurt and devastation, but also see the blessing in the lesson. People cannot love others if they are not first taught the importance of loving themselves. Parents are people first and foremost, with that said, if a person is not taught how to be caring and selfless it is not inherent to all. Self-love is critical for building the foundation upon which any relationship will stand. Without it, people are left to the whims of being driven by the emotions, reactions and thoughts of others. When we do not first love ourselves, we erroneously believe that our happiness is ultimately tied to others.
When you are blessed to evolve in your thinking and become enlightened to the fact that happiness is a choice and an inside job, it gives you the power back that once was placed in the hands of others. Happiness is relative to the person that chooses to embrace it. That does not mean the person won’t experience sad times, but it does mean they understand that there is balance in everything and that a sad time does not have to equate to overwhelming or depressed emotions. The same is true of self-love, once you understand that you must look past and forgive yourself for your flaws and or imperfections, past mistakes and negative self-talk, then you are able to love yourself unconditionally.
We must learn to leave baggage where it is, if its weight hinders us from moving forward. Stop assuming you need to unpack it, sometimes you just need to throw it all away; it’s just a reminder of what didn’t fit or what didn’t work. You don’t need the reminder if it only works to keep you stagnant and wallowing in the feeling of defeat or inadequacy. Throwing away that baggage may entail you getting therapy to talk through the hurt, journaling, meditation, spiritual cleansing, prayer, fasting or a multitude of other methods, whatever it takes, do it. You will always be worth your best efforts.
Love looks different as you mature and evolve, sometimes love looks like peace of mind and time spent communing with yourself. You must determine what love looks and feels like and once you do, don’t settle for anything less.
I was afraid of my own electrifying power
So I eclipsed my light
I allowed life to live me
I didn’t trust myself to live life
Taking comfort in the solace that darkness brings
While pushing others into their self-fulfilled spotlights
The light that illuminates the flaws and glares blindingly
In the mirror of introspection
Helping others, while allowing my own dreams to be sacrificed in martyrdom
Providing artificial comfort opposed to the the prospect of failure
Until I looked into the brown eyes of an innocent soul
Created in my image
Peering up at me with the expectancy for the appearance of my greatness
Its what was whispered into that young soul from her conception
Bouncing off the walls of the womb in a staccato symphony of what would be
So in the face of such innocent revelry
The nondescript camouflage of complacency
Had to be replaced
With an outfit of Divine Design
Reminding the sleeping Goddess within
That light sprang forth from the Darkness
Its a moral sin to hold such greatness in
It takes a Fool to Learn
I speak from the perspective of a woman, after all that is what I am.
Sometimes as women we accept preconceived notions and we convince ourselves that these notions work for us. For example, men who habitually cheat, (please note there is a difference between a man who sneaks, lies and deals treacherously then one whom expresses in truthfulness that he is not interested in being with just one woman), just because the truth may hurt, doesn’t make it less true. Anyway, some women accept that lying cheat as the evidence that all men cheat and in turn she should get used to being treated as less deserving.
These same women put up with the lies and disrespect because she figures she had better stick with what she knows, rather than to risk the unknown. They think it’ll be the same thing, with a different man; never understanding that lack of boundaries helped create this lack of respect. You can’t accept people’s garbage and then wonder why they treat you like trash. It’s like having Stockholm Syndrome and loving and having empathy for your abuser, because whether you recognize it as such, placing yourself in a situation to be degraded through treachery and lies is emotional and mental abuse, which leads to feelings of worthlessness and lowered esteem.
What you allow is what will continue. You have to command respect and if those demands aren’t met you have to love yourself enough to walk away from any situation that culminates in you being treated less than the treasure you are.
Women please don’t look at being alone as being lonely, use that time to define and refine You. Treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Learn the beauty and peace in self-love and self-respect, learn the soul fulfilling joy of peace of mind.
Do not allow someone else to become so important to you that you lose yourself and lose your dignity.
Forgive yourself for lapses in judgments and bad decisions and choices, as you know better, be determined to do better and you can’t safely move forward if you’re stuck looking backwards.
A Queen doesn’t stop being royalty just because there is no King by her side. So clothe yourself in love and crown yourself in self-worth and don’t allow anyone to treat you as less than Regal woman that you are.
~Everyone at some time or another has played the fool for love, the trick is in not being comfortable remaining one!