Hil

never can say good bye
even after a year it still seems foreign to try
I remember being awakened from my sleep
to cries that you were now resting in peace
for a second I lost touch with reality
Could this really be true
but I soon gained more proof
the world had truly lost you
it’s hard living life with no more talks
no more shared books read
or inside jokes
I just knew we’d grow to be old folks
You were my sister, my friend and a spiritual sharpener
when your soul left
time seemed to stand still
it felt surreal
I was bereft
left fumbling to rationalize within my mind,
to accept this loss as a truth
There are days I’m great
and there’s days when simply I’m not
I know life is for living so I keep pushing I dare not stop
There is so much more I needed to share
so much more wisdom and encouragement I needed to hear
You were a sister-friend so near and dear to my heart.
I carry your memories forever with me may they never depart.
~micaiah

Continue to rest in power Sis💙
Hilakiyah Yisrael 3/10/70-5/5/2019

Begin again

Life is all about learning from experience’s, sometimes we are a little slow on the uptake and have to repeat a lesson.
We often allow our emotions to guide decisions that only our mind is truly qualified to make. I know it’s hard to let go of how you feel, even when you know it’s for your own best interest.


So you pray, praying steadfast to take that feeling away. And in time your prayers are answered only for you to turn around and be tested.
Do you hold firm? or do you fold to the tantalizing memory of the addictive high?
And if this one time you fold will whoever or whatever forever have a hold of you?


I say not necessarily, sometimes we have to experience something more than once to get the true lesson from it. Everyone has a different barometer by which to measure what they can and cannot tolerate. Maybe it took that second time to reach the peak of your limits.
Hell, it may take some people multiple times and guess what? That’s their business and their prerogative.


One thing life has taught me is not to judge the hearts and lives of others, because as soon as you say what you won’t do or what you won’t put up with the Almighty or Universe will surely test you.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough tests to last several lifetimes already.


So be easy with yourself.
Now, I’m not saying settle for less than you deserve or to put up with abusive behavior. What I am saying is that ultimately it’s your life to live and you have to come to terms with what and who you allow in it and for how long.


Don’t base your life and limits by comparing it to another. Comparison is the thief of joy, do well to remember looks can be deceiving, because even salt can look like sugar.
So what looks sweet may not really be.


Trust grass grows greener wherever it’s tended to and watered. Effort proceeds progress.
So take those lessons on the chin and resolve yourself to let go of the past, grow your future and begin again as many times as you need to.
~micaiah

Where happiness meets healing

Sometimes it’s not the intimate aspect of the relationship you miss, it’s the friendship

The ability for someone to know you better than you know yourself

Someone that knows your moods and can communicate without conversation

someone that can pull a smile from you even when you are annoyingly aggravated

Someone you can be free with without judgment

Even when you’re afraid to uncover your heart, they feed you laughter as medicine and help cure your hidden and broken parts

Because sometimes we don’t truly heal, because we are so intent on not being able to feel

Sometimes we blur the line and it takes time to get back aligned with the true purpose for you and them

Maybe you were not ever meant to be in love

because the greater need is to be a friend

and in the end

in that realization

is where true happiness and healing begins.

~micaiah

Emotional investments

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