Tag: life

The Subtle Art of Not Being the One

In every family or relationship, whether personal or professional, there’s always the ONE. The go-to person, the dependable, responsible one who gets the job done and makes things happen. This is the person everyone turns to when times get tough, the Strong ONE who shoulders all burdens and still comes out on top. People cast their troubles upon the most capable shoulders, and the ONE dutifully exceeds all expectations.

However, it’s important to remember that even the Strong ONE has their own issues and problems to deal with. Even strong, responsible people need shoulders to lean on from time to time. The ONE needs time to decompress and just be with themselves, but they often don’t take the time, feeling it is their duty to fix all the problems around them. Even Superman knew to take time out and be just regular old Clark Kent.

Being the ONE can be both a blessing and a curse, especially for those who haven’t learned the difference between wanting to say no and needing to say no. Being the natural fixer without defined boundaries can leave you overdrawn and depleted, with no way to refill your own cup. In our zeal to help others, we must ensure we are not robbing ourselves.

You do a disservice to others when helping them becomes burdensome to your spirit and starts to weigh you down. Saying no is not about withholding assistance; it’s often about self-preservation and recognizing that to say yes is to give away the very essence of yourself, leaving nothing left.

Do not feel guilty for setting limits and taking the time to remove the cape. Be gentle with yourself, even the broadest shoulders can break under unevenly distributed weight. Help others understand that you are not the only one capable of handling situations or tasks. Often, you are just the easier or more cooperative choice.

It’s a complete sentence

Instead of taking on others’ causes, suggest ways they can handle the matter themselves. Help to enable them, not be an enabler. As the saying goes, give a man a fish, and he eats for a day; teach him to fish, and he can feed himself for a lifetime.

Remember, it’s hard to move while carrying the weight of others. Free yourself, and at the same time, free them from always having to depend on you.~micaiah

⸻

“The strength of a person is not measured by their ability to carry the weight of the world, but by their ability to lift others up while standing tall themselves.” ~anonymous

Embrace Your Own Truth


Life often feels less like a smooth path and more like a winding, sometimes treacherous, journey.

We’ve all been there—stumbling, our vision blurred by past hurts and present uncertainties. It’s easy to get knocked off course, to let our dreams gather dust, and to lose focus in the face of what feels like “foolishness and hocus pocus.”


My poem, “My own truth,” beautifully captures this struggle:

My Own Truth

Walking, no, more like stumbling through life
Vision blurred by all that’s occurred
Not staying on course has my dreams deferred
Allowed myself to lose focus
Due to foolishness and hocus pocus
Let comparison rob me of objectivity
had me forgetting about the blessings just for me
Doubt had me believing delayed had turned into denied
Had me trusting in worry and anxieties lies
Had to get regrounded and regroup
Had to familiarize myself again with my own truth
Had to remind myself of whose child I was
And that my gifts are truly a blessing from above
There is no timeframe or race
Just continue on and keep the pace
With renewed faith, my vision cleared
And once again I’m ready to tackle all I once feared.~MY


It’s a powerful reminder that comparison can be a thief of joy, blinding us to the unique blessings tailor-made just for us. Doubt can whisper lies, convincing us that delays are denials, and pulling us into the trap of worry and anxiety.


But the poem also offers the profound solution: we must reground and regroup, and most importantly, familiarize ourselves again with our own truth.

This means remembering our inherent worth, acknowledging the unique gifts that are truly blessings, and understanding that our journey isn’t a race against anyone else.


With renewed faith, our vision clears, and we find the courage to confront the very things we once feared.

So, if you’re feeling lost or off-kilter, take a moment to reflect. What is your truth? What blessings have you overlooked? And what fears are you ready to conquer with newfound clarity?
Embrace your journey, trust your pace, and let your own truth light your way.
~micaiah

Clarity. Action. Success.

There’s this misconception that adulthood miraculously brings clarity into your life and the reality is clarity can come at anytime. There are a whole lot of adults that are still struggling to find their “way in life.”

And that’s ok. There is no magical switch that can be flipped and voila’ your life is all planned and set. It takes work, time and commitment to see the results you want. Sometimes you have to understand that everything works in divine timing, but we have to keep it real with ourselves too!

We can’t expect to be millionaires if we aren’t putting in the work to make millions. If you’re not putting those plans into action, guess what? They won’t come to fruition. And it doesn’t matter what part of your life it is, words require action or they will forever remain in a perpetual dream state.

So what if you have to start over and reinvent yourself or your approach in order to obtain your desired goal. As long as you have breath, you have opportunity. So keep it pushing. You’re not the only one that isn’t where they imagined they’d be at this point in their life and you won’t be the last one either.

I’ve personally had to restart several times. I just keep brushing myself off and going for what I know and asking for help for what I don’t know. And that’s the key. You have to humble yourself and ask for help when it’s needed. You can’t get ahead because it’s impossible for one person to be all things for all people. So, find a team and delegate tasks to them. Yes, relinquishing control can be scary. But guess what? If you keep doing things the same way, you’ll get the same stagnating results.

Do the self-work you need to do to get out your own way. That self-work looks differently for everyone. It may be meditation and journaling. It could be counseling and therapy. Or it might be a staged intervention from family and friends. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself and recognize what is blocking you from truly living your best life. Ask for clarity on your purpose and align that purpose with your passion. Remember to be open to receiving that clarity too. What you had in mind might not be what’s best for you. Be open to shifting gears.

Invest in yourself and pay for coaching if needed. There is no shame in learning from those that are living the type of life you desire. A closed mouth won’t get fed, the same is true of a closed mind.

Life can be a roller coaster, but those lessons learned are always worth the ride.

~Micaiah

The Unfortunate Habit of getting Burned

When you are little your parents, if they are the nurturing and loving sort, try to warn you from all the ills in life that will bring you pain. They tell you, “No, sweetie don’t touch that hot pot you’ll get burned.” “Don’t climb so high you’ll fall down.” And sometimes you listen and stayed safe and sometimes curiosity killed the cat or at least curiosity burned your hand, as you learned the hard way that it hurts to touch a hot stove.

People that give and give of themselves, never setting boundaries with others that gladly take from them, are like that small child, that heard the warning yet still took the chance of being burned.

Sure, everyone knows that you can’t pour from an empty cup. But no one explains how to break the cycle of feeling as if we have to please people in order to feel love. Or how gratifying it can be to give to yourself what you so freely give to others.

From the time we are young, we see examples of our mothers giving of themselves to take care of the children, the home and their mate/husband. We see single moms that make things happen when there is seemingly no way they should. We see adults tired, working day in and day out so their families can survive. So, we absorb that mentality that you give to those you care about even if they never have anything to give you, you just keep giving. Even to the point of defeat and exhaustion. Working and giving of themselves sometimes straight into early graves.

It’s a seriously flawed concept. One that often leads to couples staying together to raise children only to divorce later once the kids are “old enough,” often feeling they lived a life unfulfilled. And single moms feeling as if they wasted all their good years on their grown, ungrateful kids. While sometimes that is the case, oftentimes these feelings are a result of extreme burn out. Of having your soul depleted to the point you have nothing to give, not a thought, worry or care, not even for yourself.

We have to change the mindset that is is better to give than to receive. Let’s say, it’s better to give just as much as you get, even if those things you get are a result of your own doing. We have to learn to refill our cups. We are solely responsible for maintaining our inner peace and happiness. Can other people lend to those feelings? Absolutely! But they are not the driving force behind those feelings. That is an inside job.

People will tell you “No” is a complete sentence. Yet, you will still worry your nerves over saying it, feeling as if you need to expound on the reason. You do not have to feel guilty for using your excess on yourself. Whether that excess is time, money or energy. You are not obligated to give so much of yourself to anyone that it leaves you with nothing left for you.

You have to learn to schedule and set aside time for yourself. Give yourself gifts, write yourself notes affirming how amazing you are. Buy yourself those flowers, or that pretty dress. Dress up just because you like the way it makes you feel. When you start treating yourself right and ensuring your cup stays full. People will reap the benefit of your overflow. You’ll be so full, you can’t help but to give that overflow to others and it won’t even be as noticeable.

Stop allowing yourself to be burned by the expectations of others. Stop equating your acts of service as fair exchange for love, affection and appreciation. Those things should be given freely and not contingent on what someone can get from or out of you.

You are too amazing to keep allowing your soul to be exhausted. Guard yourself and set those boundaries. People that truly love you will never want to see you get burned.

~Micaiah

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started