Tag: life

I Wish I didn’t Know

I wish I didn’t know…

that one day every living thing must one day go

back to the dust from which it came.

I wish I didn’t know…

that sometimes people don’t get healed

and pain unleashed reveals itself in an avalanche of tears.

I wish I didn’t know…

That cancer is a monster and not just a sign of the zodiac

it doesn’t respect persons old or young and runs you ragged and tortures you before it’s done.

I wish I didn’t know…

friendships don’t always last until you grow old

sometimes death severs it’s hold.

I wish I didn’t know…

Life will give you bitter with the sweet

and bad things sometimes happens to the good folks you meet.

I wish I didn’t know…

That grief can last forever, it’s coping mechanisms that change

When you lose someone you love,

life is never quite the same.

I wish I didn’t know.

~micaiah

How much do you love you?

A lot of us are great at being honest with everyone but ourselves. We will scream and shout how much we love ourselves and refuse to settle when it comes to how someone else may treat us, but we forget to demand that same level from ourselves.

If you truly love yourself, you’ll work towards being the best version of yourself in every aspect of your life: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially.

How much love do you have for yourself if you aren’t working to be the healthiest version of you that you can be? We psych ourselves into believing we have to be in love with our fat selves and our thick thighs, but if that isn’t the healthiest version of you, how is it love? You can be comfortable in who you are, and still recognize your need for improvement.

You tell yourself you can’t be with anyone that has nothing to bring to the table, when your table is being held up by one leg made of bills and debts you owe. Yeah, you have a nice career, but you owe out more than you make. By refusing to get a handle on your debt not only are you not showing love to yourself, but you’re not showing love to the children to whom you’ll leave your debts instead of an inheritance.

We have to be honest with ourselves and admit when we don’t love ourselves as much as we should.

Self-reflection is necessary in order for there to be growth.

Love yourself enough to want the best for yourself and your family in all areas of your life.

If you feel like the blessings aren’t coming, maybe it’s because you need to rid your life of the cluttered chaos in it.

Take inventory and then make a list of steps you can take to clean up the areas in your life that do not represent the love you have for yourself.

Take it one step at a time and don’t be afraid to ask for help in areas where you need it.

You are most definitely worth your best efforts.

Remember love is an action word and that applies even more-so when it refers to how you truly show love for you!

~Micaiahism

More Powerful than you Know

Sometimes it’s hard to inspire when you feel as if you’re floundering at life and your pockets are not filling fast enough.

But then again, those moments of uncertainty that turn out alright are what leads to inspiring moments and testimonies.

It’s easy to give up. To say, well it must not be my time since dreams aren’t aligning with finances.

Finances, or shall I say, the lack thereof, is a major stressor. Businesses and marriages have come to destruction over it.

But we can’t lose sight that sometimes riches aren’t monetary and sometimes blessings can’t be measured. 

Peace of mind and joy of heart are priceless. Doing something that fulfills you is invaluable to your self-worth, and shouldn’t be quantified on the basis of a dollar. 

That budget is meant to discipline you not confine or define your limits.

Sometimes you have to acknowledge that what you want is surpassing what you need.

We have to place things in perspective and understand that sometimes the only thing standing in your way of pursuing your dreams is being greedy for gain and forgetting to be thankful for more than enough.

Sometimes we have to be reminded that your dreams may be the life saving force someone else has been waiting for.

That book, that business, that apparel line may be the boost someone needs to be reminded that they too can realize their dreams.

That it’s never too late to pursue your purpose.

Don’t give up, you’re richer than you realize and more powerful than you know!

 ~Micaiah

Adrift and bereft

I haven’t written in a while. I was transitioning in my feelings from numb to grieving, once again death called a friend home and left me feeling adrift and bereft. Untethered just floating in a sea of feelings and unleashed emotions

Death is hard, but unexpected death, one not a result of some chronic or terminal illness is even harder; especially when it’s a best friend. A confidante and kindred spirit, someone that you laughingly joked about growing old with. It was surreal seeing her lifeless and so still. She had always been so lively and full of life. Her Aura would bring light to any room, but death robbed the world of her presence.

I’m a spiritual being so I know all souls belong to the Creator and are only on a short loan to those of us that live in this earthly world. Even knowing and understanding her latter end doesn’t make the pain any less intense.

Witnessing another mother bury her child is something I dread each and every time, because by nature I’m an empath and I feel things deeply and knowing I can do nothing to repair the hole left is gut wrenching. Of course I can offer help and sympathy but those things don’t touch that feeling that resides deep in one’s soul when they suffer the loss of someone close to them. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like for a mother to lose the very person that grew inside her womb.

The older I get it seems the more prayers and condolences I extend, and yet the world keeps turning and days continue into night. And although death changes the world of those effected, the rest of the world goes on. And although at times you wish you could curl up in a ball and just forget about everything and everyone else, you can’t, because you still have life within you.

And because you inherently know you have a responsibility to keep the memory and love of the deceased alive. So you surf the waves of your grief, you allow yourself to feel, but you fight to keep your head above water because you don’t want to purposely hasten your own demise and be the cause of someone’s else’s grief.

The circle of life keeps turning much like the earth. We latch on to friends and family and every golden memory we can in an effort to establish a new normal.

That’s where I find myself, trying to find my new normal, without one of my best friend’s advice and input, one without her notes left in my library books on the hold shelf. A life that is without her text messages full of inside jokes and one that is without her book nerd humor and shared favorite authors and titles. One without her voice and knowing they’ll be no new songs sung it’s all still so hard to comprehend.

But I know she would push me forward and want me to accomplish all the goals and dreams we had discussed. She’d want to see me smile and laugh and enjoy life fully. So some way somehow I will, because to keep a smile on my face and joy in my heart may just be one of the best ways to remember her.

Missing you and loving you forever my friend

In Loving Memory of Hilakiyah Yisrael 3/10/1970-5/5/2019

~Micaiah

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